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Fun Stuff
My Show with a Hollywood Pitch.
The Pitch is everything in Hollywood. Thank goodness I'm in Illinois.

Lost Scene from "The Empire Strikes Back".
Vader had lots more to say to Luke than just that "I'm your Father" stuff.

Star Trek: Voyager Plot Generator.
Randomly computer generate a Voyager Story.

Sexy Cartoon Babes!
It certainly ain't no Smurfs.

The Diary of
Grand Moff Tarkin.

But who is Lauren?

Differences between Network Executives and Science-Fiction Fans.
If you don't laugh, you're not a Sci-Fi Fan.

The Day I Whacked too many Ewoks.
What the Hell?

You know you're an American Doctor Who Fan when...
Things are different if you're British.

The Sci-Fi Hokey Pokey.
That's what it's all about.

Robert Beltran Gripe Generator.
Now you too can bitch like Robert Beltran.







The Sci-Fi Hokey Pokey

By Richard Whettestone.


Musical Note Musical Note Musical Note


You put an episode on the air,
You take an episode out.
You put an episode on the air,
And you pre-empt it all about.
You do the Sci-Fi Pokey
and the fans all bitch and shout.

That's what it's all about.



You air the first season of SeaQuest,
and you do stories about magic slime.
You air the second season of SeaQuest,
and you pre-empt it 18 times.
You pre-empt the third season also,
and of those you only air about nine.
That's what it's all about.



You produce Star Trek : Voyager,
and you buy the crew some beers.
Although the show sucks big time,
it will last for seven years.
While Rick Berman makes some millions,
all the fans are left in tears.
That's what it's all about.



You air Beauty and the Beast,
but learn only women watch the show.
You decide to change the demographics,
Even though the ratings weren't that low.
You decide to kill off the Beauty
even though the fans all cried No.
That's what it's all about.



You screw up the premise of Sliders
and War of the Worlds, too.
You screw up Beauty and the Beast
as well as SeaQuest 2032.
You screw up the fifth season of Babylon 5,
and then deny all of this is true.
That's what it's all about.



You put Tracey Scoggins in.
You take Claudia Christian out.
You have Penn & Teller guest-star
and throw all continuity out.
You forced in sex and violence
and take the story-arc a different route.
That's what it's all about.



You cancel Babylon 5: Crusade
before it even gets to air.
You replace it with crap like Lois & Clark,
and wonder why your viewership is bare.
You promote a whole new television season,
And wonder why the viewers do not care.
That's what it's all about.



You fire the lead actor
after just one season on the show.
The fans wonder why you do this,
but probably Michael O'Hare doesn't even know.
You kill off Richard Chaves,
and insist Kevin Kilner's got to go.
That's what it's all about.




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