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1-2- Broken Bow
3- Fight or Flight
4- Strange New World
5- Unexpected
6- Terra Nova
7- The Andorian Incident
8- Breaking the Ice
9- Civilization
10- Fortunate Son
11- Cold Front
12- Silent Enemy
13- Dear Doctor
14- Sleeping Dogs
15- Shadows of P'Jem
16- Shuttlepod One
17- Fusion
18- Rogue Planet
19- Acquisition
20- Oasis
21- Detained
22- Vox Sola
23- Fallen Hero
24- Desert Crossing
25- 2 Days & 2 Nights
26- Shockwave 1
27- Shockwave 2
28- Carbon Creek
29- Mine Field
30- Dead Stop
31- A Night in Sickbay
32- Marauders
33- The Seventh
34- The Communicator
35- Singularity
36- Vanishing Point
37- Precious Cargo
38- The Catwalk
39- Dawn
40- Stigma
41- Cease Fire
42- Future Tense
43- Canamar
44- The Crossing
45- Judgment
46- Horizon
47- The Breach
48- Cogenitor
49- Regeneration
50- First Flight
51- Bounty
52- The Expanse
53- The Xindi
54- Anomaly
55- Extinction
56- Rajiin
57- Impulse
58- Exile
59- The Shipment
60- Twilight
61- North Star
62- Similitude
63- Carpenter Street
64- Chosen Realm
65- Proving Ground
66- Stratagem
67- Harbinger
68- Doctors Orders
69- Hatchery
70 - Azati Prime
71 - Damage
72- The Forgotten
73 - E2
74 - The Council
75- Countdown
76- Zero Hour
77- Storm Front 1
78- Storm Front 2
79- Home
80- Borderland
81- C-12
82- The Augments
83- The Forge
84- Awakening
85- Kir'Shara
86- Daedalus
87- Observer Effect
88- Babel One
89- United
90- The Aeanar
91- Affliction
92- Divergence
93- Bound
94- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 1
95- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 2
96- Demons
97- Terra Prime
98- Trip Dies in Riker's Holodeck!

Enterprise Characters
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Enterprise Actors
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Star Trek History
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Detachable Saucer
Classify this under "What If?"

Letters
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Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.









Enterprise review: "Civilization".
(Episode 9)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Enterprise

THE PREMISE: Enterprise finds a planet with at least one boat. Deciding that it's close enough to a Warp-capable civilization, they disguise themselves as the aliens and plan to head down. But then they discover someone using a technologically advanced anti-matter reactor on this hillbilly boatful planet and decide to investigate that too, where Archer and gang then find some locals who are being poisoned with bad water.

"Civilization"
Written by Phyllis Strong & Michael Sussman


Young Scott Bakula We also have a fourth option, Captain. We can steal one of the Teasers from your old show "Quantum Leap" and claim it's a flashback.

The purpose of a Teaser of an episode is to lure you in to want to watch the whole episode. Yet this Teaser was wasted on a token scene of Archer being told about three possible exploration options, the last of which was a Class-M planet. This whole thing could have been inserted into the first minute of Act One.

What's that? Enterprise found an alien planet with life on it? Gasp! I never thought that would happen.

Where's that common sense scene of Starfleet officials discussing some of Enterprise's past missions while reading through all of Archer's reports? What's the point of discovering the bizarre and unusual out in space if it's not going to have an impact back home. Whatever it was, the Teaser should not have been the dud it was.


Enterprise
What Civilization? Where? When?

The title of this episode is "Civilization". Yet besides the fact that it is entirely focused on a little hillbilly town where we see a total of one woman's house and an antiques shop that is ran by an alien anyway ("One Little Village" would have been a more appropriate title), Hoshi clearly states that the planet has dozens of different languages and dozens of cities on each continent. The plural form of "Civilization" fits the planet better, yet still doesn't change the fact that we only see one small town and two buildings.


Boat Warp Capabilities? They got a boat. That's good enough. Let's go down. Trip, get the Gear out.

T'Pol suggests that they don't contact the planet until they are at a Warp-capable level, stating that this is standard Vulcan protocol. Then Tucker reminds us that this isn't a human protocol so why should they care.

This scene was crying out for T'Pol to shove it in Archer's face by reminding him that it was Zefram Cochran's warp flight that brought Earth to the Vulcan's attention anyway. Which then had the potential to draw both Trip and Archer into a heated debate with T'Pol all over again. This is after all their first discussion about a first contact with an alien planet, something Enterprise managed to dodge up to now by encountering ships and old human colonies and such.


Star Wars Probe Droid
Starfleet could have sent a Probe out here to make maps and take pictures. But they didn't. That's why we're lost.

Archer says: "Starfleet could have sent a Probe out here to make maps and take pictures. But they didn't. They sent us. So that we could explore with our own senses."

Well that may be, but if they could have sent Probes, wouldn't it had made things easier for Enterprise? Then you wouldn't have had Enterprise wandering aimlessly back in "Fight or Flight". You also would have already known about those stars and crap you wasted the Teaser on and could have had the Enterprise heading directly here to this planet. The idea of Enterprise completing missions to get all the Probe data out of the way would have kept the crew busy for a year. As I said in my review of "Terra Nova", if you were going to spend all of that time and energy into building a Warp-Five capable starship, you would have already had a prioritized list of where you wanted to go before it was even launched. Besides investigating the Terra Nova colony, confirming and exploring what the Probes would have already told you was out here first should have been next on the list.

Instead, Archer found this planet by luck. Oh, Joy.

And where were those map-making picture-taking Probes prior to Enterprise's launch when people wandered whatever happened to the Terra Nova colony? With the Klingon homeworld only four days out, those Probes could have given us advanced warning about them, too.


T'Pol All I have to do is wait until you get killed, then you'll listen to me.

They keep reminding us viewers about various Vulcan protocols and such that will someday be standard Starfleet protocols. This episode gives us another one: Avoid all pre-warp civilizations.

And yet once again Archer and gang ignores them. So when will these protocols actually end up being initiated? When Starfleet realizes that Archer was able to accomplish so much by breaking and ignoring them? They can't be proven to work if they can't even be tested, or until Archer ignores one and loses, learning his lesson.


We killed the Greys. They were illogical. We'll be abducting you now.

Now that Berman and Braga opened the can of worms about alien abductions having taken place on Earth (for several hundred years), I suppose that's a road they'll either never travel down, or they'll end up screwing it up like they did trying to claim the Roswell aliens were Quark the Ferengi bartender and his kin.

You're on a dangerous road with this one, Braga. Janeway meeting Amelia Earhart in the Delta Quadrant comes to mind.

T'Pol


Civilization Gee Captain. It's bad enough I had to pick the lock on the front door. Now there's another one inside. We didn't have it this bad finding the Vulcan Spy Array.

Now don't you get ahead of me yet.


As the only one among the Away Team that has pointy ears and could be recognized as an alien, I'm also going to be the only one not to wear a hood.

Whatever.

Civilization


Hoshi Sato
I sabotaged all the Translators to make sure I am needed. It's called "Job Security".

Archer's translator breaks in mid-conversation and Archer has to kiss the alien woman to buy some time so he can reset it.

Huh?

I thought the idea was that the Translators had a hard time translating the languages, not that they would suddenly go Windows 95 on us and lock up in mid-use.

We'll ignore the fact that what Archer spoke was still being translated back to the alien woman while the Translator was shut down.


The Andorian Incident
You don't know how to end the episode? Just recycle the last three script pages from "The Andorian Incident."

And Captain Archer swings the curtain away to reveal... a super secret Mallurian mining facility!


Construction Equipment Okay, we'll do it the hard way then.

The aliens have a mining operation so big, they need to haul everything out in little crates on a wheel barrel so a ship with big lights can come every single night just outside of town and tractor beam it up without being seen.

Comedy ensues.


Scooby Doo
"It's old man Mallurian! He was the Antiques Shop owner all the time!"

Even on Scooby Doo, when the bad guys want to scare everyone away from where they are mining, they usually use ghosts or monsters. But in this case, with an anti-matter reactor powerful enough to replicate clothes for half the continent, they just open an antiques shop and pretend nothing is going on.

Whatever.


(And he would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you darn kids and that pesky dog Porthos)


Hoshi Sato Hoshi? Who's that?

Oh no, the Mallurians are closing in, I've sealed myself in their mining facility, I have a Translator that doesn't speak Mallurian, and I can't read it either! I wished I had someone on my ship that could learn their language in a hurry.


Archer
Give me a minute. If my luck continues to hold, behind this door will be another Vulcan Spy Array and they'll see I'm in trouble and send help.

We can beam the radioactive anti-matter reactor up to the ship but not the Captain and his girlfriend.

Oh well.


Tucker It's my nacelle and I'll vent it if I want to.

So when T'Pol orders them to prepare to break orbit, Tucker is so insistant that they stay and save the Captain on the planet, he orders Engineering to vent the warp nacelles to strand them there to prevent the ship from breaking orbit.

Which also would have prevented the ship from playing cat and mouse with the Mallurians or even take off running when they come shooting, resulting in them being destroyed with no route of escape.

Whatever.


Antiques Roadshow
Antiques Roadshow.
Because if I destroyed the city outright, I wouldn't have this cool Antiques shop.

The evil Mallurian says that he doesn't care about the lives of a few thousand aliens. Then why not just toast the city and start mining openly. You'll get more done. You do after all not only have an anti-matter reactor capable of destroying the city, but you're mining explosives no less.

And you better load up on those explosives while you can. There's a probe coming your way.


Mayweather
Gee, do I listen to the sexy catsuit or the country bumpkin? Decisions, decisions.

Missing Scene: Mayweather confronting Archer about what to do next time he gets caught in this situation again where he has to decide between T'Pol or Tucker when they both start giving him conflicting orders on the bridge.

I seem to recall the same thing happened in "Broken Bow". And with Captain Archer constantly getting captured or knocked unconscious, there will be a third time for Travis no doubt.


Civilization
And my Science Officer is a Vulcan. And our Doctor is an alien but we don't know what kind. Then we went to a planet once with hallucinogenic pollen. Then our Engineer got pregnant, even though he's a man. And let me tell you about the time when I...

"Gee, you sure are taking all this well for a small minded species who still uses smoke signals and poop in shacks in the backyard. We turn our poop into boots. Just ask Mr. Tucker. Anyway, let me tell you about the time when I saved the Vulcan monastery from Andorians. They're blue. Although the Vulcans weren't too happy with me after that one. Then there's that Temporal Cold War being fought a thousand years in the future. Are you okay? Do you want some water or to sit down or something? Oh, and then there was that ship we found with all the bodies hanging upside down..."



star Gold Star Bonus!

On occasion the Producers behind Enterprise gets something right. This is one of those brief rarities few and far between: the Mallurians. What's so special about them? Their star system gets wiped out a hundred and fifty-one years later (in 2262) by the Nomad probe in the second season "Star Trek" episode "The Changeling."

This continuity and subtle eeriness is so outstanding, I'm placing it in a white box.

Nomad probe
Nomad probe, destroyer of the
Mallurian star system in 2262.


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