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Voyager "Endgame" Review
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Enterprise review: "Daedalus".
(Episode 86)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Daedalus Starship

THE PREMISE: At the dawn of the founding of the Federation, Starfleet launches the proto-type of the Daedalus-class starship and... ha, ha, I'm just kidding. This episode was about some whiny old black guy. Something to do with the transporter. Even Bill Cobbs couldn't save it. Another one of those few episodes that weren't really filled with bad things, it was just boring as hell and pointless.

"Daedalus"
Written by Ken Lazebnik and Michael Bryant
Yeah, I don't know who they are either.


T'Pol Computer, enhance quality of writing. Darn. It didn't work.

Well how about that. You can just say to the voice activated computer the word "Enhance", and it knows exactly what part of the screen you want to enhance and does so. Huh.


Mayweather Okay Mister Cobbs, if you're going to be a black actor on Enterprise, there's a few things you need to know. First, the writers care more about Decon Paste Orgies, mindmeld Aids and scenes of T'Pol and Trip talking dirty to each other than scenes of people who look like us. They think fans like Decon Paste Orgies. Fans don't, but that's what the writers think.

Almost always the first scene of Act One is of the starship cruising through space, as it begins the opening guest credits sequence starting with the title inserted into the corner. The rest of the guest credits play out over the next scene of the characters talking and whatever.

But because everyone on ENT is whacked, the first scene of Act One here is of the starship cruising through space as usual, but oddly with no guest credits. Then the next scene is of Trip and T'Pol talking about something that's not important, the scene is only used as filler to fill in space and is never brought up again through the whole episode and has nothing to do with anything at all. Oddly, there still aren't any guest credits.

Then this is followed by an important scene where everyone is gathered around a dinner together, and reveals WHAT the Enterprise will be doing, and WHY the Enterprise will be doing it. This scene is also the second scene of the episode that features the two lead black guest-stars. So it's no surprise when the dumb-ass Producers and Editors choose HERE to place the distracting "Theme Music by..."-type credits, along with the 453 Producer's credits that don't stop appearing until you're 17 minutes into the hour.

I don't know what's worst... that they placed the credits over the rarely hired and used black guest-stars, or that they placed the credits over a scene that was actually important to establish the story. While Trip and T'Pol talking about stuff I already forgotten goes unbutchered by the credits and airs in pristine mint condition.
Bill Cobbs

Decon Paste Orgies? What the hell kind of show did I get myself in to?


Mayweather Secondly, they don't care about real science.

And the Enterprise goes into an area of space that has no stars nearby which means its dark. And to prove this, when the Enterprise travels the width of my television screen, all the stars that ARE behind it suddenly disappear! Even though they were still on screen!

It's not that the Enterprise traveled AWAY from the stars that were on screen. It's that the stars that were on screen were STILL on screen, but someone started turning the "Fade" dial.
Bill Cobbs

Yeah, huh-huh, I'm listening son, keep going.


Mayweather And third... the Writers don't think. They're all dumb or something. There was an episode called ''Canamar'', and we didn't even go to Canamar.

Some people may try to be smart asses and babble about some Greek Roman God named Daedalus and tell you some bullsh*t myth story and try to overlay that myth onto this story to justify the title. But you are an extra special kind of retard if you honestly believed that doing an episode of a Star Trek prequal series that is set less than ten years prior to the founding of the Federation, and calling that episode ''Daedalus'', would NOT get people to think of the Daedalus-class starship, which was the first Federation starship ever designed and launched. Because the title and plot was leaked online before it was even filmed, a million fans world-wide were pissed off before anyone on the set even yelled ''Action!''


Bill Cobbs

Canamars? They used to have them when I was a kid. Chocolate and Caramel. I think there were some nougat in there too. And a gold foil wrapper. Do they still make those? I have an inkling to go out and buy me some.


Bill Cobbs A Daedalus-class starship you say? I wouldn't mind hearing more about that.

Okay, Mr. Cobbs.

The UN-official launch of the first Daedalus-class starships were in 2162 (7 years after this episode is set), according to the Last Uniforn RPG game (information I read second-hand, I don't actually have this game). The first established canon appearances of Daedalus starships were actually the destruction of two of them: the Archon and the Essex, both destroyed in 2167 (12 years after this episode). A third Daedalus ship, the Horizon, is destroyed in 2168 (13 years after this episode). The last of the Daedalus ships were removed from service in 2196, a span of 34 years from the unofficial launch, and 29 years since the first "canon" existance of the ships - the destruction of the Archon and the Essex.

Daedalus Starship

The Daedalus-class starship in drydock,
as rendered by someone named Sean Robertson,
an image I got on the internet.
Seeing these ships in action would have been great.


Mayweather And finally... ah hell with it. It's a paycheck for doing nothing. I don't even think I'm in this episode.

Yeah, I don't think he was in it either.


Bill Cobbs

Exactly son. As long as you got a paycheck coming in, you just keep lickin' yo massa's feet! Why do you think I did ''Air Bud''. A dog playing basketball!? I bought me a car with that paycheck. Even I didn't go see that movie. And I was in it!


Mayweather Eight episodes back I actually met Hitler when we traveled back in time. He said us colored folks don't have souls anyway, so it's okay for us to use the transporters.

Or that ''Soul Train'' my great-grandfather said they used to have back in the 20th century.


There were scenes here where Bill Cobbs discussed the controversy that occurred when the transporters were first invented and used, including some people thinking the transporters were actually copying people. I think a more controversial question that would have been asked would be about your soul. It's beyond understanding that these writers think any kind of controversy could have occurred about the transporters and NOT have people questioning what happened to your soul when you're transported. Any writer who asked themself what could go wrong with a transporter, would have thought of this. I don't think these writers asked this question before they wrote the scene.


Bill Cobbs

You actually met Hitler? Did you get a shot at him son?



star Bill Cobbs!

Even though I make fun of him here, I remember Bill Cobbs from ''I'll Fly Away''. I could give two dozen examples of I'll Fly Away having more character development in their 41 episodes than Enterprise has in all their episodes to date, with this one marking episode 86.

You often hear someone talk about how a show or movie was bad, but a specific actor made it watchable or carried the show in some way. I was really disappointed Bill Cobbs couldn't do this here. Enterprise has destroyed too many good actors that are incredible on other programs, but the moment they step on the Paramount Star Trek stages, they lose their acting ability. I've specifically mentioned before DANIEL DAE-KIM, STEVEN CULP and TUCKER SMALLWOOD as actors who were better than Enterprise aloud them to be. Watch Dae-Kim on ''Lost'', or Culp on ''Jag'' and you'll see they're more lively and real. But when they show up on ''Enterprise'', they're cardboard cutouts. This show just has that effect on actors for some reason. Even Jolene Blalock's guest-appearance on an early episode of ''CSI'' showed she can act better than ENT allows her to (or look at her Stargate appearances). This may help explain why Scott Bakula was good on ''Quantum Leap'' but sucks here. Yet sadly, it happened here again for the millionth time: BILL COBBS.

Bill Cobbs


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