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Enterprise review: "Similitude".
(Episode 62)
Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
THE PREMISE: Tucker and T'Pol do a 69 foot massage orgy. Tucker goes brain dead. Phlox clones him. Tucker gets a brain transplant or something. Clone Tucker dies. The Reset Button is pressed by newby baby staff writer Manny Coto with his first script.
"Similitude"
Written by Manny Coto
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I didn't do it. I've been framed!
And again with the framing of stories? Don't you writers have any more tricks in your bag of talents? Apparently not.
''Framing'' is a writing technique in which the story opens ''After the Fact'', meaning the events had already occurred, and we're witnessing part of the end of the story. In this case, it opens with the funeral AFTER Tucker is already dead. Then the events themselves play out in flashback. In this case, Act One opens with the words ''Two Weeks Earlier''.
I have pointed out in the past all the framed stories Enterprise has done, but apparently they're obsessed with doing this one single gimmick over and over. "Singularity" was framed. "Impulse" was framed. And now ''Similitude'' is framed. Three episodes within three years. But what's worst than that is two of those episodes are of this season, and this season is only ten episodes old. But worst still, these last two framed stories are only five episodes apart.
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I'm sorry to tell you this Captain. But not only do you have short-term memory loss, you're also a dying clone who only has 15 days to live. I've already told you this 14 times. Thank God it's almost over.
And where was this mutant cloning organism two weeks ago when Archer had brain problems? Why wasn't it mentioned when T'Pol was at risk of going crazy due to the new anti-anomally shielding? Could it have been used to save at least one Vulcan on that ship?
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Ooops. I tried to clone that Xindi but I guess I sneezed in the beaker or something. It looks like you'll have two of me to deal with for awhile. And I expect double-pay.
And knowing full well that in the early days they didn't know enough about the Xindi at all, but yet DID have their DNA, why not clone one of them to study and learn about it?
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Yeap, it's a perfect genetic clone of Tucker all right. He even has Tucker's accent.
While Clone-Tucker does have memories of original Tucker, would the child have an accent so young? I don't know so I'll let that pass. But birthmarks? Random marks on the skin from birth? Do the writers know what birthmarks are?
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I'm a Vulcan. Don't get logical with me.
Does someone want to explain how you can clone something from DNA and get all of its memories?
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My daddy's a Doctor. My middle name is Xerox. What's yours?
We know the episode title is Similitude. But naming the clone "Sim" is stupid.
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By the way, one side effect is the clone will have the abilities to read your minds. Try not to think of that night you spent with Tucker's sister whenever you're around him.
Clone Tucker suddenly has detailed knowledge about super secret alien sects that experiment with the clones to have them live longer. Huh? I can't believe he just ''read up on it'', as common sense says Archer would have read up on it too. Well, that's assuming of course Archer would have had common sense, but the writers and producers don't write him that way.
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Now why the hell did you let my clone stay in my quarters? He changed all the passwords before he died and I can't get into my computer!
Clone-Tucker said the only fate he could imagine that would be worst than being in a Shuttlepod alone was being in a Shuttlepod with Malcolm.
A ''fate'' he could ''think of''? He WAS locked in a Shuttlepod with Malcolm!!! The episode was called "Shuttlepod One"
But then I guess asking baby newby staff writer Manny Coto to actually be familiar with the past episodes of his own show is too much to ask for. And again I ask, why is EVERY SINGLE WRITER getting a Producing Credit?
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We first tried to fire the dead crewmembers out of the Phase Canons, but we learned that lesson the hard way.
The Enterprise only had Photon Torpedoes for about 10 episodes. They lost their very first crewmember about half of those episodes back. We never saw that funeral. But yet suddenly they have that whole ''placing dead bodies in empty photon torpedoes'' thing already worked out. Huh? This certainly wasn't an extension of what they used to do, as bodies couldn't fit in those small submarine-type torpedoes they used to use.
It's a shame we never saw a funeral on Enterprise before. And it's a shame we never saw how this new tradition came to be. The new tradition of using the Photon Caskets was just ''joined-in-progress''.
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We made a rule prohibiting crew from peeing in bottles since someone left a bottle in the shuttle from a previous trip and the next trip we thought it was lemonade. We almost didn't finish the bottle.
And once again Rick Berman and Brannon Braga continue their potty humor by having Tucker's clone make a reference to peeing in a bottle. Yeap, these two people say only they know Trek best.
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Am I in this one?
No. Sorry. Guess not. We'll try again next week.
I still get paid, right?
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