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77- Storm Front 1
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91- Affliction
92- Divergence
93- Bound
94- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 1
95- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 2
96- Demons
97- Terra Prime
98- Trip Dies in Riker's Holodeck!

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Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.









Enterprise review: "Terra Nova".
(Episode 6)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Enterprise

THE PREMISE: The Enterprise crew suddenly remember out of the blue the legendary and mysterious Terra Nova colony thought lost decades ago, who they never thought of going to see before until the first season was 25% over. On arrival they find the descendants of the original colonists who now live in caves and who believes humans are a form of alien life. After they shoot Lt. Reed in the butt, Archer tries to convince them that they are human and their water is killing them so they should move away.

"Terra Nova"
Teleplay by Antoinette Stella
Story by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga (the usual suspects)


Chimpanzee While you're up, we also want you to look for that NASA chimp we sent into space in 1961.

If you've been building for several years a starship to break Warp Four, wouldn't you have come up with a prioritized list of places you want that Starship to go? Wouldn't the first place you would want it to go would be all the colonies? And within that list wouldn't you have wanted it to go to the one colony that not only hasn't been heard from in nearly a hundred years, but has such a great legendary mystery surrounding it?

After they delivered the Klingon in "Broken Bow", the mysterious and legendary Terra Nova colony would be the first place you would go. Instead the Enterprise has been randomly cruising through space, with the investigation of Terra Nova an afterthought.

A prioritized list of places to go created in advance of the starship's launch not only would have supplied Enterprise with guaranteed missions, mysteries and stories to keep them busy, but the prioritized list actually made sense.

That's probably why Berman and Braga didn't think of it. Because it made sense.


Probe Droid
We wasted all of our Warp Probes when we sent them to the Delta Quadrant.

They sent a probe to confirm that the planet was able to support life to colonize, but they weren't able to send a probe at any time within the last 70 years to even take a look at what happened to the lost colony? What, the technology we used on Mars today gets lost sometime in the next hundred years?


Racquel Welch Another 200 colonists? That's another 100 women. Make it 150 women and we'll leave the light on for you.

These colonists wouldn't have traveled blindly for 9 years to a planet unless they knew they could have landed on it and lived. Which means they knew other continents were also there. Yet they complained about the idea of a second wave of colonists. What, a planet with multiple continents too big for 400 people? They couldn't have set up base on one of the other continents?


Alfred E. Newman
Dr. Phlox? Is he a Therapist? Because we need one.

So, these people were mentally and emotionally stable to make a 9 year journey to colonize a new planet, but suddenly cracked and thought that not only humans were attacking the planet (why attack a planet you want to colonize?) but also thought they might be in league with the Vulcans to destroy the colony (if the Vulcans were involved, you wouldn't have a 9 year journey, plus you would have access to other worlds)?

Well, I'm sure it made sense to this episode's writers, who also happened to be series creators Rick Berman and Brannon Braga.


Meteor Crater
Well if Bruce Willis was here, he would have stopped the Meteor.

Ignoring the idea that the original colonists were obviously mentally unbalanced and believed they were under attack by humans, and also ignoring that there was plenty of room for many more colonists, weren't they smart enough to realize that it was a meteor that hit them? Their communications still worked (just couldn't transmit outside the contaminated atmosphere). What happened to the rest of the ship? Weren't they ever planning to visit the other continents? Even Neil Armstrong took a Luner Rover with him to the moon. It's still sitting there. But these guys? No scanners? No vehicles? No protective suits?


Roswell
Roswell debris.
Well, we found the Conistoga's bathroom. But what did they do with the rest of the ship?

As Archer points out, the colonists used the ship's bulkhead itself to construct their houses. But all I saw was a few little rickety old shacks. This ship was big enough to carry not only 200 colonists and food for a 9 year trip, but a bicycle as well. You think there would be more of it.


Cow Sign
Don't have a Cow, man!

A 9 year journey and 200 people to feed, they MUST have brought animals with them. Yet there wasn't one mention of them. Archer asked why there wasn't any bodies of the colonists. Wouldn't it have heightened the mystery if they found the bodies of 70 year-old dead cows? Was the colonists always planning to eat the rodents in the caves?

And if there wasn't any bodies of the colonists, then that means the dead colonists were buried. Why didn't Archer find the graves?


Captain Caveman The area is contaminated with radiation! Quick, let's permenantly live here in caves and stay a long time!

They have the building blocks for a ship big enough to carry 200 people for a 9 year journey, but they didn't have enough to construct a few token transports that could have taken them from one location to the next on the planet itself to take them away from the danger area? Not even a boat? Even Gilligan had a boat. It had a hole in it but that's not the point.


Radiation Symbol Well it made sense in the script.

And if all the adults are killed and all you have left are the young kids, how are they smart enough to understand that something invisible (radiation) that they can't see is outside and will kill you over a long time? If the kids believed this, they would have believed the invisible killer was the boogieman. Another great plot twist lost on the minds of B&B.


Machine Gun
HooRah!

They all carry machine guns, but never ran out of bullets after 70 years?


Lt. Reed You better be okay Reed, because I'm taking off. Let me know how it ends.

If you're getting shot at, and your Lieutenant was just shot down, are you going to turn your head and start off without him? Because that's exactly what Archer did, providing Reed with just enough time to get caught.


Archer and Reed
Those Stinkin' Humans!

And if you do really believe people from Earth attacked your planet, do you refer to your own kind as "humans"? The kids grew up thinking the evil "humans" were other people because their parents kept talking about how evil the "humans" were for attacking Terra Nova. Don't they have a more specific name, like... Starfleet... Government... NASA... Politicians... San Fransisco?

When the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor or we bombed Hiroshima, did either side refer to the other as "those humans"? It was a clever gimmick to create a story, but it doesn't hold up in the real world.


Archer Now for my next Trick...

Gee, it was really lucky that Archer happened to find Terra Nova when he did, because Phlox said a few more years and they all would have died.

And it's also really lucky that they found the one person who was among the original colonists.

And it's really, really lucky that this same person just happened to have lung cancer so they could take her back to Enterprise to make the connection.


Young Archer We wouldn't have this problem if we just made the dirty survivors take a shower and stand them in front of a mirror.

It's a good thing Archer was able to download those pictures of the colonists to get the aliens to question why "humans" were living in their houses before the attack. Because if he didn't do that, then the aliens might have learned this on their own when they found family pictures and photo albums of these evil "humans" lying around their colony.


Soaring Bird The radiation in this region is so deadly, only CGI birds can survive.

How come the fans can read the scripts leaked on the internet weeks prior to broadcast yet the animators can't read them at all? If the Novans can't live on the surface for another decade because of the lethal radiation, what Foundation Imaging idiot put the birds flying over the Terra Nova colony?


Shuttlepod So these colonists traveled 9 years to settle on a planet, and once there they land their ship and build their colony over caves that cause giant sink holes.

And even though Enterprise could scan the caves, they couldn't detect the one Mayweather lands the ShuttlePod on.


Terra Nova
First you give me the Phase Pistol, then I give you the Phase Pistol, then you give me the Phase Pistol . . .

So, the alien asks for Archer's Phase Pistol to burn out a tunnel off screen. Then Archer asks for the Phase Pistol back to burn the tree in an attempt to build a trust. Beside the fact that he took the Phase Pistol for no reason (Archer could have done the digging), I think the fact that Archer let the alien have his Phase Pistol alone is trust enough.


Phase Pistol
They're called Phase Pistols. They have three settings. Stun. Kill. And Stupid.

So, the guy was drowning in the rising water with a dead tree pinning him down. And besides the fact that Archer didn't think to vaporize the rising water to buy them time, he manages to phaser a dead tree in half without catching it on fire.

Do we even want to ask how a dead tree so heavy they couldn't move it got underground in a side cavern?


T'Pol I'm a Vulcan. Don't get logical with me.

All throughout the episode they kept saying the colony was lost 70 years earlier. As we know from "Star Trek: The Next Generation", a generation in the Star Trek universe is 78 years.

Then Archer turns around and says the colonists have been living in the caves for two generations.

Then T'Pol says they have been living on this planet for three generations.

Did anybody actually read this script twice?


Terra Nova
Terra Nova.
"To add to your collection:

At the end of Terra Nova, the Captain has a huge problem climbing down into the pit to save the man trapped at the bottom. Cue [the] bad dramatic music as Archer almost falls..... However, somehow it must have been very easy to climb back out while helping a man with a broken leg get out too, since B&B decided that scene wasn't important enough to show us.

I like the site a lot, especially the random Voyager plot generator. Thanks for making my workday a little more interesting."

- Shelley H.
California.


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