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Enterprise review: "Bounty".
(Episode 51)
Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
THE PREMISE: Archer gets kidnapped by an Ugnaught. T'Pol gets horny.
You remember the Ugnaughts, don't you? The short, hardy porcine humanoids with upturned noses from the planet Gentes?
"Bounty"
Teleplay by Hans Tobeason and Mike Sussman and Phyllis Strong
Story by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
(the usual suspects)
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Me so horny. Me love you long time.
I have repeatedly pointed out here since the first season that Braga's been building up to T'Pol's Pon Farr. He has constantly ignored the fact that only Vulcan males reach the Pon Farr and instead have repeatedly had characters say things like "Vulcans [in general] mate every seven years", instead of the proper "Vulcan Males mate every seven years". I mentioned that he was building up to this in my reviews of "Fallen Hero", "Two Days and Two Nights" and some others. Braga himself has made jokes about it at conventions.
Well, as if the loss of the threat of Regulan Bloodworms wasn't bad enough... As if trying to claim Spock is now some weird mutant freak wasn't bad enough... As if Archer capturing the Ferengi and not even bother to ask their name wasn't bad enough... Now FEMALE Vulcans mate every seven years, too.
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It's called the Pon Farr. We don't talk about it, depending on who is writing this week's script.
T'Pol says they don't talk about Pon Farr. Huh? You threw that out the window back in "Fallen Hero" when T'Pol had an open and frank discussion about it with Archer and Tucker at the dinner table.
Continuity? What's that?
This sh*t sways whichever way the wind is blowing this week, where the writers rewrite everything previously established to get whatever current script they're working on to fit.
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Pon Farr? Oh, I thought you said Jamie Farr!
Furthermore, with T'Pol's obsession with constantly reminding the Enterprise crew about the super-secret Pon Farr, it should have been placed on public record by now. But yet even Kirk and Doctor McCoy didn't know anything about it until Spock kept changing the course of the ship, and Kirk was Spock's best friend.
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Are you really an Ugnaught? You're not going to put me in Carbon Freeze, are you?
The Empire put Han Solo in Carbonite and gave him to Boba Fett to deliver him to Jabba the Hutt for bounty. This episode is called "Bounty" and you have an Ugnaught capturing Archer to deliver him to Growl T. Klingon. Come on, freezing Archer in a block of ANYTHING would have been cool.
And I still want to see Reed duke it out with an alien with a lightsaber. Trying to take down a lightsabering alien with a phase pistol who keeps ricocheting the blasts would be cool.
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