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96- Demons
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Detachable Saucer
Classify this under "What If?"

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Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.









Enterprise review: "Cogenitor".
(Episode 48)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Enterprise

THE PREMISE: A small portion of an alien race who are the most traveled among their people and therefore the most educated, are vital to the survival of their species, but use their power to rule their people... oh, wait. That didn't happen. These people were unexplainably dumb for reasons that defy all logic and common sense, contrary to what writers Rick Berman and Branon Braga insist. Sorry. Common sense defies the premise, so we'll just forget it.

"Cogenitor"
Written by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
(the usual suspects)


Alien Nation Been there. Done that. Worn the T-Shirt.

A third person is needed to trigger pregnancy. And this third person is a minority in the race. I KNEW I had heard this somewhere before. It took me ten minutes to pinpoint it, but I did. It was an episode of "Alien Nation". It was called "Three to Tango". It was episode 10 of the series. It was produced in 1989. Fourteen years ago.

Interestingly, this Enterprise episode's guest-star Andreas Katsulas appeared in the immediate next episode of "Alien Nation" following "Three to Tango", Episode 11.

Also noteworthy, in Episode 18, George Francisco carries the baby and gives birth, something that Trip Tucker wouldn't do on Enterprise for another 13 years.

Alien Nation

B&B and Paramount are trying to claim Enterprise is groundbreaking, pioneering and (their exact words) turning things on it's ear. Wrong. "Alien Nation" was. A decade and a half ago. Get back to us when you have something new. And quit lying about what you do have and finally admit that it's all the same old recycled crap.


Reed 1 + 1 = 2.7 in my book. But then I'm British. I'm on the metric system.

The Enterprise uses torpedoes.

In "Sleeping Dogs", Reed learned the Klingons have Photon Torpedoes.

Torpedoes have warheads.

Photon = Photonic.

Therefore, the Klingons' Photon Torpedoes that Reed himself discovered and personally launched have Photonic warheads.

Yet here Reed says he never heard of Photonic Warheads.

Hello? You discovered them in Episode 14! Hello?


Braga and Berman ''We so deserve to be picked up for a third season.'' ''Yeah.'' ''And a fourth.'' ''Yeah.''

These aliens retain almost everything they learn. Over night, the G'Kar alien memorized parts of Shakespeare and stuff. And within just a few hours, the cogenitor learned to read AND was half way through a book before Trip was discovered missing.

But yet these "its" never managed to pick up a few words on their own? They never stumbled across a book? Never saw "Sesame Street" on television? Never figured out that the males and females use different bathrooms in public with different words on the doors?

Children pick up things we don't want them to. The idea that these guys retain in memory most of what they see, and yet these cogenitors, who must be the most traveled people on the planet constantly visiting new places, people and buildings, and yet they don't even pick up on simple words? With Trip and Phlox establishing that they are intellectually equal to the rest of the race, common sense says these cogenitors should be the most smartest people on the planet, not the dumbest. The cogenitors should be RULING the planet by now.


Grizzly Adams and Mad Jack Well doggy, Adams. Some'un's been releas'n the cogenitors out into the wilderness again like unwanted animals. They're git'n into the cabin and eat'n the blueberry pies again! Go chase'm away Ben! They're scar'in Number Seven and git'n'em all riled up!

All the years of these "it" people being treated like pets and none of them got injured or killed that resulted in government-mandated better living conditions for them? Without them, the race dies, and they only represent 3% of the population so they're hard to find. But yet they're all still kept out in the Grizzly Adams woodshed next to the Unabomber? Only fed once a day? Locked in a room?

I'll point out that the attitude towards the third party cogenitors made far more sense in the "Alien Nation" episode than this logic-defying crapfest.


Picard Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra. When the walls fell.

A race that has been technologically advanced for thousands of years and they never managed to come up with another word for these people beyond "it"?


KirkSpock with a goatee on the ''Mirror, Mirror'' bridge. When Scotty drinks.

The simple need to communicate would have forced the creaton for a word for them.

''Go get it.''
''Go get what?''
''It.''
''It what?''
''You know. It!''
''No I don't know. Why don't you just tell me what 'it' is?''

See what I mean? You can't survive like this as a race for thousands of years without even a name for them.


Twenty Four Keifer at CTU as the clock ticks. When the wife dies.

If these people can't even read, someone has to keep track of them to send them off to each new couple that needs one. And what is this place suppose to be called? The "It Depot"?

''Me and my wife want to have a child. I need it.''
''It what?''
''You know. It.''
''Oh, I get it. And do you want that in green or blue?''
''Do you even know what I'm talking about?''
''Well you're not being too clear about what you want. What's the name of it?''
Full House castKimmy Gibler at the Tanner household. When the Beach Boys guest star.

As for not having a name individually... how the hell is the "It Depot" even suppose to keep track of them? They didn't even have numbers.

''I lost it.''
''You lost what?''
''It!''
''Your car keys?''
''NO! I lost one of your Its!''
''Which one?''
''The one that didn't have a name.''
''Describe it.''
''It didn't have a name. And it can't read.''
''Jesus! It could be anywhere!''


ProductionBerman and Braga at the typewriter. When the Ratings drop.


Tucker You see Captain. By setting all our television monitors to only play Pan & Scan movies, we save .0000001 percent power by not having to render the sides of the movies. And that's why I'm the Chief Engineer.
Day the Earth Stood Still

In "Dear Doctor", they had a large screen television that just coincidently happened to be the same size as the filming ratio of 1943's "For Whom The Bell Tolls". Yet here we have Tucker playing "The Day the Earth Stood Still" on his little monitor, and it's in pan and scan format. Why not Letterbox? Why isn't your monitor widescreen? Why aren't they adjustable in size like some obsessed fans insisted they were when I pointed out the monitor size in "Dear Doctor"?

Either you can play the movies in Widescreen or you can't. Please pick one. And stick to it. Because you keep making references to all these movies the crew watch, and you keep showing stock footage taken from Paramount's library. So you're only going to cause more inconsistencies along the way.


Yoda Suck, their writing does. Better than them, you can do. Fired, B&B should be.

Now let's see what I can do with this story...

1 - Since it makes sense to have the cogenitors be among the most elite cherished and generally the most intellectual of the people, what if they tried to take over the world?

2 - What if the cogenitors secretly discovered that their numbers were diminishing and they couldn't figure out why?

3 - What if the family who lead the fight against Trip to keep the cogenitors down ended up giving birth to a cogenitor?

You know, I can stop right there and still be ahead.


Tucker Don't interferre? Don't... wait a minute! That's the exact same speech Admiral Forrest gave to you when you screwed up just last week!

Every word Archer told Tucker, about not thinking things through, not acting on a whim, not interferring with other cultures, is EXACTLY what the audience would like to tell Archer, because that's EXACTLY what Archer does and how he acts on the show.

When Archer gave Tucker that speech, the only thing missing was the laugh track.


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