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23- Fallen Hero
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29- Mine Field
30- Dead Stop
31- A Night in Sickbay
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68- Doctors Orders
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70 - Azati Prime
71 - Damage
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77- Storm Front 1
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93- Bound
94- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 1
95- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 2
96- Demons
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98- Trip Dies in Riker's Holodeck!

Enterprise Characters
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Detachable Saucer
Classify this under "What If?"

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Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.









Enterprise review: "Horizon".
(Episode 46)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Enterprise

THE PREMISE: Mayweather gets some screen time. But to make sure they take away from the value of his story, a pointless distracting subplot follows T'Pol whining about a movie.

"Horizon"
Written by Andre Bormanis


Phlox and Archer How come you never asked to see my sweet spot?

Here's how the Teaser played out:

Fade In:

We see Mayweather in his "sweet spot", reading a book.

Mayweather drinks some water.

Mayweather is called to the bridge.

Cue suspenseful music...

Fade out.


God Damn it these people need to be fired.


Hoshi Want to see my sweet spot? Come to my room in an hour and bring some honey with you.

Now if Hoshi had said this, their ratings might not be so low.


Reed and Archer Mayweather's sweet spot is clearly a security risk. We've seen Suliban climb walls even in a gravity environment. In Mayweather's sweet spot, they'll be unstoppable!

I also want more ammo.


T'Pol I also look forward to evaluating your horror films "Children of the Corn" and "Showgirls".

To make sure the colored guy doesn't get too much screen time, let's waste ten minutes constantly cutting to T'Pol whining about watching a Frankenstein movie. After all, our target audience of 12 year-olds don't care about watching a black guy's homecoming. So let's pad it out with the catsuit.


Mayweather My dad died some time ago? Hey, so did the Star Trek franchise!

I explained back in my review of "Shockwave" that the Producers are stupid when they didn't show Admiral Forrest's reactions to actually learning those 3,000 mining colonists had died.

And yet once again the Producers waste another potentially emotionally-driven powerful scene of a main castmember learning his father had died.

In "Broken Bow", Archer's dreams about his dad included T'Pol standing on a beach. But here, we don't even see Mayweather learning of his father's death. It occurred offscreen and explained in a throw-away line.

I said this before in my other reviews, but I'll say it again. These scenes not only are more memorable, but provides the actors an opportunity to ''act''. When Captain Kirk learned his son had died, he fell back and missed his chair. It was heavily dramatic.

I really want to know. Knowing full well the black guy gets the least screen time of all the cast, did the Producers purposely decide not to show Mayweather's reaction because he was black, or they thought the actor they hired couldn't pull it off acting-wise, or are the Producers really this so incredibly stupid that they don't understand the emotional and dramatic value of showing a main character learning his father had died.

That's twice B&B screwed this scene up.


Archer Starfleet never got your mom's message that your dad died? That's odd, because she got our message that you had died when we found your clone-body from ''Dead Stop''. Oh, wait, we never told her we were wrong about that. Ooops.

Tracking down where that message got lost would have been an enjoyable three minutes.


Mayweather My brother's kinda stupid. It runs in the family.

So the brother does NOT want to have BOTH options of weapons AND speed available to him? Let's just do one and if we die, oh well?

And why didn't they try to contact Enterprise?

And why didn't they try to contact the Docking Port they were headed to?

And why wasn't the attacking ships picked up on the EXTENDED scanners Mayweather JUST gone done upgrading?

It's getting harder to tell which characters are meant to act stupid and unreasonable when they're ALL being written that way.


Archer Well, uh, your father wrote me a letter about you, and uhm, it said things, emotional things, like he uh... loved you and uh... stuff. Yeah. That's what he said. Yeah.

What? You want to see the letter?


Reed, go stand by the door and tell me if Travis comes. Quick T'Pol, how do you spell ''Mayweather''?


Mayweather Let me tell you the ghost story about the guy who wasted food. Boo!

Mayweather takes a few bites out of strawberry shortcake and just leaves it sit on the table? I can't believe they have a waiter on standby to clean after the crew. These boomers are stuck in this itty bitty ship and don't have luxuries like a starship has, as they constantly reminded us. Yet Travis acts like this?


Mayweather Woh! Hold it! What Event? Where? When?

Remember back when Voyager was in it's third season? UPN promoted every single episode of the entire season as a "Special Episode". Do you remember that? And do you remember how UPN started doing the same thing with every single episode of the series "NoWhere Man"? Every episode was a "Special Episode".

Well guess what? This episode was promoted in the previews as an "Enterprise Event". And guess what? Next week's episode was also promoted as an "Enterprise Event". Do you see the pattern here?


You reading a script I didn't get? What Event are you talking about?


Phlox and Archer Congratulations Captain. You found Regulan Bloodworms. Too bad the writers downplayed their value a year ago, or you could have unleashed a deadly plague and make true Star Trek history.

FACT #1: Regulan Bloodworms were hinted at being dangerous in Kirk's time.

FACT #2: B&B falsely claimed they were going to show the creation of how things ended up being the way they were by Kirk's time.

FACT #3: In this episode, Archer unexpectedly found some worm creatures secretly buried under ground of a volcanic planet.

Wouldn't this have been cool if Archer unexpectedly discovered Regulan Bloodworms on this planet, and ended up with a plague? Nothing was stopping the writers from having Enterprise discover the worms first, THEN dropping off Mayweather (and some worm samples) on his family's hauler ship. And with some of the cargo captured and stolen by the alien attackers, by the time Enterprise realized they had a problem, it was already spread. Now you have a plague.

But sadly the writers are tards and already threw this potential away more than a year ago when they started NAME-DROPPING, insisting that's the same thing as "continuity", in an attempt to crack a few lame jokes about Phlox using Regulan Bloodworms as leeches.

This is what happens when you have a Trek prequel headed up by people who are not fans, don't know the history, have repeatedly tried to downplay the value of TOS, and in the case of Braga, "prides" himself on not having watched the original series. This is also what you end up with when you hire writers of "Robocop 3" or "Baywatch".

Continuity isn't hard. Pre-mapping a story-arc isn't hard. But it does require that you actually use your brain, something B&B and the recipients of the Clown College diploma refuse to do. Then there's also the simple fact that these people get paid the same amount of money for an intelligent show with extra thought and work as they get paid for phoning in forgettable aliens-of-the-weeks. Maybe they're not stupid. Maybe the show sucks because they're just lazy and want easy money for no work.

I'll write a script for free. And I know a lot of other true Trek fans would do so also.


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