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96- Demons
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98- Trip Dies in Riker's Holodeck!

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Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.









Enterprise review: "Cease Fire".
(Episode 41)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Enterprise

THE PREMISE: Archer comes to the rescue to negotiate peace between the Vulcans and the Andorians. Shuttlepod One crashes for the eighth time.

"Cease Fire"
Written by Chris Black


Admiral Forrest This is the twelvth time the Vulcans have asked us for help. But let's pretend it's only the first for dramatic purposes.

Admiral Forrest says "This is the first time the Vulcans have asked for our help."

Hello? What about the time they sent T'Pol to hunt down that "Seventh" guy she didn't remember? What about when they ordered Enterprise to pick up that Ambassador that was suppose to be some big "Fallen Hero"? This is actually at least the third time they asked for help, the second time they asked for Enterprise specifically ("Fallen Hero").

In this episode they pushed the engines to their maximum. The only other time they did this was when they retrieved that Vulcan Ambassador. Their second direct job for the Vulcans, and the second time they maxed-out the engines, and these element of the script copied over and the writers still think the other episode didn't exist? I remembered it. Why didn't they?


Admiral Forrest Archer's the closest thing we have to an Ambassador? Ah, Crap!

Admiral Forrest says Archer's the closest thing they have to an Ambassador.

And who's fault is that? Common sense says if you're going to build the most powerful ship in your (invisible) "fleet" and launch it out randomly just to "look around" and make first contact with as many alien races as possible, what idiot in charge decided it was okay to NOT have an Ambassador onboard?

Here's a clue: That idiot has the initial "B" in his last name. You can pick between the two choices available.


Tucker Screw the engines! I'm hungry!

When Scottty was pushing the engines, he was always in Engineering. When Geordi pushed the engines, he too could be found in Engineering. When Voyager pushed their engines, B'Elanna was hard at work in Engineering. Here, this hillbilly prequal rickety starship is being pushed to its max for only the second time ever, and Tucker is in the Captain's Dining Room eating away and talking about the flammability of his underwear. Yes, that's what he was talking about.


Soval I'm going to be temporarily stupid to drag this scene on for another two minutes.

Soval asks Archer why would Shran possibly want him at the meeting.

Then two minutes later Soval then says it was because of Archer that Shran learned of the P'Jem listening post and caused it to be bombed.

Come on Soval! 2+2=4! Peace it together! God, we're going to end up being here all damn day!


Phlox ... and that's how I saved Private Ryan from the Nazi-er, I mean, the Klingons.

The Denobulans are so reclusive that no one in Picard's time knows about them. As if Phlox's wife roming the galaxy and Earth Doctors on Denobulus as an exchange program wasn't bad enough, here we learn that Phlox served in the Denobulan Infantry - an infantry that fought in a war because Phlox gained feirce battlefield experience from it.

So now this reclusive race just got done fighting in a war within the last several decades. So now we have to also overlook a war.


Shran I seriously lost sleep over my debt to Archer... until I saw "A Night in Sickbay". Put me right down.

The first time we learned Shran lost sleep over his debt to Archer was funny. The second time it was forced on us. Here Archer throws it at us again, this time taking the attitude that Shran actually honestly could not sleep because of his love for Archer. If you're going to recycle a joke repeatedly, at least repeat one that's funny.


T'Pol Ambassador Soval, you're staring at my boobs again. Stop that or I'll have to report you to the High Command.

Okay, so Soval says to T'Pol: "You were one of the most promising members of my staff. If you had stayed in San Francisco you would be on the Assistant Council by now. You might even have a Diplomatic Posting of your own."

Didn't last week T'Pol was almost removed from all her positions because she contracted Vulcan Aids, resulting in a hearing? Now suddenly she's back on the rise again?


T'Pol I'm a Vulcan. Don't get logical with... aw F*ck it, why do I bother?

Okay kids. Get your calculators out. Here we go...

FACT A: Enterprise's second season takes place in the year 2152 to 2153.

FACT B: It was stated that the Andorians had claimed the planet for 100 years.

FACT C: It was also stated that the Vulcans had put a surveilance satelite in orbit 100 years ago.

FACT D: It was also stated that the planet was deserted for nearly a century.

This places all three of these Andorian/Vulcan events at 100 years ago, around the year 2052. Yet they then said the planet was "claimed by the Vulcans in 2097". What? To make it more confusing, Soval, who stated he once served on the planet, stated he hadn't fired a weapon for 50 years, implying he was serving on the planet 50 years ago (instead of these being separate events). So what we have is three statements placing this around 2052, and two events (one stated year and one implication) dating these events at 2097. Did anybody bother to read this script twice? How much do you want to bet that Rick Berman and Brannon Braga didn't even bother to piece together a chronology of these events they're making up?

What they should have been doing is using the existing Star Trek chronology as a beginning point to this time period, but they didn't even look at that.


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