Enterprise review: "Dawn".
(Episode 39)

Our guy and an alien guy are stranded on a planet, and they have to work together to survive. I won't waste time pointing out that this has been done to death before, but I will spend time pointing out five other shows that had done this storyline better.

1 - "UFO", "Survival", 1971. A renegade alien somewhere on the moon causes the death of a Shado pilot. When Colonel Foster's team locates the UFO, it is destroyed, and Foster and the alien are both believed to be dead. The alien shows up and helps keep Foster alive as they try to make it back to Moonbase.

The movie: "Enemy Mine". Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr. play human and alien enemies, who crash on the same planet after a space attack and now must work together to survive.

Besides that, the planet is similar, consisting of a desolate rocky terrain. Trip and the alien fight it out several times, then become friends just like in the movie. And also the alien Trip befriends even gurgles his words and cocks his head a lot like the alien in the movie.

So Tucker befriends an Arkonian. Oooh, Aaahh. Whatever. Here's five other aliens that would have improved this episode:

1- Disguised Romulan. Tucker crashes on a planet with a helmeted Romulan, which he can't see what he looks like, and doesn't know what he is. Unlike that Ferengi fiasco, this wouldn't contradict continuity.

2- Breen. Tucker crashes on a planet with a helmeted Breen. He doesn't learn who or what he is. Unlike that Ferengi fiasco, this wouldn't contradict continuity.

3- Vulcan/Romulan. Tucker crashes on a planet with a Romulan, who tricks Tucker into believing he is a Vulcan. He escapes with valueable Starfleet tactical information. Unlike that Ferengi fiasco, this wouldn't contradict continuity.

4- Suliban. Tucker crashes on a planet with a Suliban, and does his best to convince the Suliban to cough up his secrets about the temporal cold war. They even fight it out on occasion. Convinced to return to Enterprise with Trip, other Suliban show up and kill him.

5- Chef. Tucker crashes on the planet with Chef. We learn all about Chef. At the end of the episode, Chef dies.

The suspense is raised in this episode when they shockingly learn that most of the moons around the planet get too hot during the day and too cold during the night.

Uhm, Hello? Most planets do that. It's a real shame that these same writers who are extremely limited in their creativity go out of their way to ignore this in virtually every single episode they ever wrote when crewmembers crashed on a planet, only to bring it up now to create a false jeopardy, then have the characters act so scared like it's unusual or something. Go take a look at Venus or Mars or something. In fact, why don't you read one of those children's books about our solar system and get some ideas from it about what space is really like. The idea that the planet gets too hot or cold should have been expected, not a shocking surprise.

Archer said he was upset that the Arkonians didn't send for other ships to help in the search, and T'Pol says it's because they don't trust the Vulcans.

Huh? What? If the Arkonians didn't trust the Vulcans, then wouldn't they send MORE ships to watch Enterprise and make sure they don't step out of line?

Unfortunately this is yet another example of something written into the show that only makes sense to the writers, because it certainly doesn't make sense to intelligent viewers like you and me. Or does it make sense to YOU why people who were suspicious of the Enterprise in their space would NOT send additional ships to monitor them?

"I've seen things they couldn't have imagined back home. I saw the great plume of Agasoria."

When? Where?

"I saw the three moons of Matallis Prime."

When? Where?

"I stood on an asteroid crater twice as high as Everest."

When? Where?

"Went driving in the ice caves of Athenia."

Christ! They're all better than this current episode. Sadly this is too typical for Enterprise. They produce episodes that are crap, then have the characters talk about all these great and cool things they did off screen that the Producers refuse to write or show.

There's a simple rule in writing. Show, don't tell.

Your man on the desert planet is dying of thirst. Your transporters work just fine. But he decides to stay with his alien friend until he is okay. So what do you do?

I don't know, but whatever you do, do NOT beam down water to your thirsty crewmember. Nor beam down a tent or some other kind of protection. Also don't bother to check if the Suliban Cell ship could survive the technobabble problem that stranded the ships. Also don't beam down environmental suits for neither Tucker nor the alien. Also don't beam up a sample of the alien's water to replicate more. Yeah, it's best to just let them be and suffer.

10- The alien has a lightsaber. Tucker has to fight it out with him with just a Phase Pistol.

9- Tucker was test piloting the Suliban Cell ship and that was what he crashed in.

8- Mayweather joined Tucker and brought a joke book, and every so often one reads an hilarious joke to the other. At least that wouldn't have been as boring.

7- The alien's ship had Speeder Bikes or some "Galactica 1980" flying motorcycles, and Tucker and the alien get into a chase through the desert planet.

6- While assisting the Vulcans, Tucker crashed with a male Vulcan experiencing the Pon Farr. Tucker goes beyond the call of duty.

5- Mayweather actually gets some screen time.

4- T'Pol gets less screen time.

3- Enterprise dukes it out with the Suliban, and a Cell ship carrying the "contact device" crashed with Tucker and gets jammed on, and Tucker gets stranded with Future Guy, who decides to "watch" Tucker during his attempts to survive the hostile planet.

2- Archer crashes with Hoshi. Battered from having intense planetary adventures, they do it. Real writers take over the show and their uncomfortable working relationship carries over into future episodes due to actual "continuity".

1- Something of value actually happens, and we get actual character development of value that carries over into future episodes.

Enterestingly, this episode obtained the second lowest over-night ratings the series has had. Gee, I wonder why.