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Episode Reviews
1-2- Broken Bow
3- Fight or Flight
4- Strange New World
5- Unexpected
6- Terra Nova
7- The Andorian Incident
8- Breaking the Ice
9- Civilization
10- Fortunate Son
11- Cold Front
12- Silent Enemy
13- Dear Doctor
14- Sleeping Dogs
15- Shadows of P'Jem
16- Shuttlepod One
17- Fusion
18- Rogue Planet
19- Acquisition
20- Oasis
21- Detained
22- Vox Sola
23- Fallen Hero
24- Desert Crossing
25- 2 Days & 2 Nights
26- Shockwave 1
27- Shockwave 2
28- Carbon Creek
29- Mine Field
30- Dead Stop
31- A Night in Sickbay
32- Marauders
33- The Seventh
34- The Communicator
35- Singularity
36- Vanishing Point
37- Precious Cargo
38- The Catwalk
39- Dawn
40- Stigma
41- Cease Fire
42- Future Tense
43- Canamar
44- The Crossing
45- Judgment
46- Horizon
47- The Breach
48- Cogenitor
49- Regeneration
50- First Flight
51- Bounty
52- The Expanse
53- The Xindi
54- Anomaly
55- Extinction
56- Rajiin
57- Impulse
58- Exile
59- The Shipment
60- Twilight
61- North Star
62- Similitude
63- Carpenter Street
64- Chosen Realm
65- Proving Ground
66- Stratagem
67- Harbinger
68- Doctors Orders
69- Hatchery
70 - Azati Prime
71 - Damage
72- The Forgotten
73 - E2
74 - The Council
75- Countdown
76- Zero Hour
77- Storm Front 1
78- Storm Front 2
79- Home
80- Borderland
81- C-12
82- The Augments
83- The Forge
84- Awakening
85- Kir'Shara
86- Daedalus
87- Observer Effect
88- Babel One
89- United
90- The Aeanar
91- Affliction
92- Divergence
93- Bound
94- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 1
95- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 2
96- Demons
97- Terra Prime
98- Trip Dies in Riker's Holodeck!

Enterprise Characters
Breakdown of who's who.

Enterprise Actors
Breakdown of who's ugly.

Star Trek History
Quick summary of what came before.

Detachable Saucer
Classify this under "What If?"

What other people think.

Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.

Enterprise review: "Dawn".
(Episode 39)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.

THE PREMISE: Tucker crashes on yet another planet. Yes, he just crashed on a planet two episodes back, but I guess the writers forgot already.

Written by John Shiban

Written by John Shiban? Whatever.

Our guy and an alien guy are stranded on a planet, and they have to work together to survive. I won't waste time pointing out that this has been done to death before, but I will spend time pointing out five other shows that had done this storyline better.


1 - "UFO", "Survival", 1971. A renegade alien somewhere on the moon causes the death of a Shado pilot. When Colonel Foster's team locates the UFO, it is destroyed, and Foster and the alien are both believed to be dead. The alien shows up and helps keep Foster alive as they try to make it back to Moonbase.

Why it was Better: Foster and the Alien becomes friends, and the alien saves Foster's life. When Foster is found by Shado, he tries to inform them of the alien and that he is their friend, but the Shado operatives can't understand him through the damaged spacesuit communicator, and when they locate the alien, they kill him.

Gorn and Kirk

2 - "Star Trek", "Arena", 1967. Unseen aliens transport Kirk and the Gorn Captain to the same planet to battle it out, so their space battles don't screw up the peace in the galaxy.

Why it was Better: While the two characters were fighting eachother instead of working together, it was still better. And I'll take any opportunity that reminds people of the value of the original series that Berman and Braga want to wipe from people's memories.


Cobra Commander and the Baroness

3 - "G.I.Joe", "The GamesMaster", 1980's. A weird stupid powerful 45 year-old billionaire brat manages to not only kidnap Flint and Lady Jaye, but he manages to kidnap the Baroness and Cobra Commander as well, right out from under Destro's nose. His goal: play games with them until they die. Helping him on his adventures was Coco the clown puppet.

Why it was Better: We not only got to see Lady Jaye in a slip while she was kidnapped changing her clothes, but we got to see the Baroness in a swimsuit when she was abducted from a hottub. By the way, no matter what creative geniuses B&B promote themselves as, the Baroness was wearing that black catsuit since 1982. Jeri Ryan was just 14 in 1982. And now you know. And knowing is half the battle.


4 - "The Transformers", "Call of the Primitives", 1986. The premise: Torkutron sucks all the life energy out of everything in the galaxy. A mysterious caller that resembles the Autobot Matrix of Leadership recalls all the primitive minded Autobots and Decepticons to an old area of space, where they must work together to stop Primacon, who created Torkutron. Dinobots

Why it was Better: The Autobot and Decepticon "primitives" were supposed to work together, but they don't. The bulk of the episode results in them fighting eachother in a bunch of funny and cool action scenes. Only when they rapidly begin being taken out do they concentrate their forces against the enemies. One amusing fight was inside Trypticon, in which the Dinobots and Predacons fight eachother as to who shall lead them on their mission. Eventually it falls on SkyLynx. There's some compassion for the enemy when SkyLinx falls, and the Decepticon Predacons question how they will survive without the Autobot to lead them. This episode was one of a few that used a different animation company, which resulted in pumped up battles and more frames per second actually drawn. And as if this wasn't enough, we not only learn who built Unicron, but we may have been given some background on the Autobot Matrix of Leadership.

Captain Sheridan

5 - "Babylon 5", "All Alone in the Night", 1995. The Streibs kidnap Captain Sheridan and pit him against a Narn and a Drazi in a prison cell. Eventually Sheridan and the Narn are able to work together to escape, despite not being able to communicate.

Why it was Better: The Streibs were named after Whitley Streiber. We learn Sheridan was placed onboard Babylon 5 to secretly evaluate the crew, to find out who can be trusted, in an attempt to uncover the truth behind President Santiago's death. Neroon replaces Delenn on the Grey Council. While unconscious, Sheridan has a vision triggered by Kosh back at the station. When the Streibs are cornered, they "space" the captives, something we had never seen before. And the Narn that Sheridan befriends would later return to assist G'Kar as his guard.

Braga and Berman "Stealing? We like to call it a 'homage' to." "Yeah."

The movie: "Enemy Mine". Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr. play human and alien enemies, who crash on the same planet after a space attack and now must work together to survive.

Besides that, the planet is similar, consisting of a desolate rocky terrain. Trip and the alien fight it out several times, then become friends just like in the movie. And also the alien Trip befriends even gurgles his words and cocks his head a lot like the alien in the movie.

Tucker Didn't I just crash on a planet two episodes back?

So Tucker befriends an Arkonian. Oooh, Aaahh. Whatever. Here's five other aliens that would have improved this episode:

1- Disguised Romulan. Tucker crashes on a planet with a helmeted Romulan, which he can't see what he looks like, and doesn't know what he is. Unlike that Ferengi fiasco, this wouldn't contradict continuity.

2- Breen. Tucker crashes on a planet with a helmeted Breen. He doesn't learn who or what he is. Unlike that Ferengi fiasco, this wouldn't contradict continuity.

3- Vulcan/Romulan. Tucker crashes on a planet with a Romulan, who tricks Tucker into believing he is a Vulcan. He escapes with valueable Starfleet tactical information. Unlike that Ferengi fiasco, this wouldn't contradict continuity.

4- Suliban. Tucker crashes on a planet with a Suliban, and does his best to convince the Suliban to cough up his secrets about the temporal cold war. They even fight it out on occasion. Convinced to return to Enterprise with Trip, other Suliban show up and kill him.

5- Chef. Tucker crashes on the planet with Chef. We learn all about Chef. At the end of the episode, Chef dies.

T'PolHamburger You mean the hot side stays hot and the cold side stays cold? That is most illogical.

The suspense is raised in this episode when they shockingly learn that most of the moons around the planet get too hot during the day and too cold during the night.

Uhm, Hello? Most planets do that. It's a real shame that these same writers who are extremely limited in their creativity go out of their way to ignore this in virtually every single episode they ever wrote when crewmembers crashed on a planet, only to bring it up now to create a false jeopardy, then have the characters act so scared like it's unusual or something. Go take a look at Venus or Mars or something. In fact, why don't you read one of those children's books about our solar system and get some ideas from it about what space is really like. The idea that the planet gets too hot or cold should have been expected, not a shocking surprise.

T'Pol The Arkonians are so suspicions of us Vulcans, they're not even bothering to watch us.

Archer said he was upset that the Arkonians didn't send for other ships to help in the search, and T'Pol says it's because they don't trust the Vulcans.

Huh? What? If the Arkonians didn't trust the Vulcans, then wouldn't they send MORE ships to watch Enterprise and make sure they don't step out of line?

Unfortunately this is yet another example of something written into the show that only makes sense to the writers, because it certainly doesn't make sense to intelligent viewers like you and me. Or does it make sense to YOU why people who were suspicious of the Enterprise in their space would NOT send additional ships to monitor them?

Tucker Then there was that planet of BattleMechs we had to fight.

"I've seen things they couldn't have imagined back home. I saw the great plume of Agasoria."

When? Where?

"I saw the three moons of Matallis Prime."

When? Where?

"I stood on an asteroid crater twice as high as Everest."

When? Where?

"Went driving in the ice caves of Athenia."

Christ! They're all better than this current episode. Sadly this is too typical for Enterprise. They produce episodes that are crap, then have the characters talk about all these great and cool things they did off screen that the Producers refuse to write or show.

There's a simple rule in writing. Show, don't tell.

Archer in his Captain's Chair All right! If Tucker dies, I move up in rank! Wait, what do you mean I don't?

Your man on the desert planet is dying of thirst. Your transporters work just fine. But he decides to stay with his alien friend until he is okay. So what do you do?

I don't know, but whatever you do, do NOT beam down water to your thirsty crewmember. Nor beam down a tent or some other kind of protection. Also don't bother to check if the Suliban Cell ship could survive the technobabble problem that stranded the ships. Also don't beam down environmental suits for neither Tucker nor the alien. Also don't beam up a sample of the alien's water to replicate more. Yeah, it's best to just let them be and suffer.

10 things that would have improved this episode.

10- The alien has a lightsaber. Tucker has to fight it out with him with just a Phase Pistol.

9- Tucker was test piloting the Suliban Cell ship and that was what he crashed in.


8- Mayweather joined Tucker and brought a joke book, and every so often one reads an hilarious joke to the other. At least that wouldn't have been as boring.

7- The alien's ship had Speeder Bikes or some "Galactica 1980" flying motorcycles, and Tucker and the alien get into a chase through the desert planet.

6- While assisting the Vulcans, Tucker crashed with a male Vulcan experiencing the Pon Farr. Tucker goes beyond the call of duty.

5- Mayweather actually gets some screen time.

4- T'Pol gets less screen time.

Future Guy

3- Enterprise dukes it out with the Suliban, and a Cell ship carrying the "contact device" crashed with Tucker and gets jammed on, and Tucker gets stranded with Future Guy, who decides to "watch" Tucker during his attempts to survive the hostile planet.

2- Archer crashes with Hoshi. Battered from having intense planetary adventures, they do it. Real writers take over the show and their uncomfortable working relationship carries over into future episodes due to actual "continuity".

1- Something of value actually happens, and we get actual character development of value that carries over into future episodes.

Enterestingly, this episode obtained the second lowest over-night ratings the series has had. Gee, I wonder why.

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