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Enterprise review: "Carbon Creek".
(Episode 28)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Enterprise

THE PREMISE: Wreckage of a technologically advanced Vulcan ship lies undiscovered in a forest on Earth. A Vulcan explores Earth and his potential for stories is forgotten by the writers. T'Pol's Great-Grammy invents Velcro.

"Carbon Creek"
Teleplay by Chris Black.
Story by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga and Dan O'Shannon
(the usual suspects)


star Gold Star Bonus!

On occasion the Producers behind Enterprise gets something right. They didn't get anything right in this episode, but unlike the previous 27 episodes, this one is actually partially watchable, once they stop showing Bakula and the catsuit having dinner, and up until T'Pol invents Velcro, watchable due in large part to the lack of Enterprise and the Enterprise cast.

If we're lucky, we may get many more episodes of Enterprise like this one that don't actually feature any of the Enterprise actors.

T'Pol and the Vulcan
"Carbon Creek"


Quantum Leap Oh yeah? Well my great grandfather Quantum Leaped back to your great grandmother and changed history so it didn't happen. So there!

Afterall, this is the attitude Berman and Braga have towards current established Star Trek continuity.


Tuvok I am 100 years old. Next year I turn 98.

Archer says T'Pol's age is classified. It's probably for the best, since these same stupid writers did an episode of Voyager that revealed Tuvok was over 100, only to have him turn 100 several seasons later.


Vulcan Damn. The humans found our secret strike base we had in Carbon Creek. We'll have to move up our invasion plans.

Starfleet takes notice enough to report that a Vulcan went rogue and spent five days in Dumpwater Florida for an unexplainable reason, but they don't even bother to follow up on it. This alone was worthy of a major investigation.


T'Pol I'm a Vulcan. Don't get logical with me.

The Vulcans were already wearing uniforms that fasten in the front. But when Grammy T'Pol puts on a dress, she believes it now fastens in the back and puts it on backwards? This must be why T'Pol is a tard. She inherited it from her great-grams.


T'Pol And T'Pol's great grandmother also happened to be the serial killer who met Andy Griffith!!!!

To give a quote from a "Married with Children" episode:

"Well shoot. Our town's only got two tourist attractions. The serial killer and the man who met Andy Griffith. We may be willing to give up one or the other, but we'll be damned if we're going to give up both."


T'Pol Then we let the other 8 miners die. Then great-grams bought a purse and she went home and had my mommy who had me.

The Vulcan said "at least 20 miners" are trapped in the cave-in. But after he found them, T'Pol said they rescued the twelve miners.

Twelve? Twenty? Which is it? Did anybody actually read this script twice?


T'Pol My great-grams also invented for your culture the tampon, white-out, post-it notes, and also found the combination of chocolate and peanut-butter. Use them wisely.

Uhm, excuse me. But a real man invented Velcro. He really existed, and may still be alive.

Berman and Braga not only rewrote established Trek history, but they also just rewrote historical facts in (Swiss) history. Damn it they've got to be fired!!!


T'Pol And that's how our ship caused the great blackout of 1965. And let me tell you about the time when we accidently vaporised the crew of the Marie Celeste.

It was also our great revered Vulcan Ambassador Spock who assassinated your American President Kennedy, as proclaimed in the ancient unproduced scrolls of R'denberry.


Admiral Forest Carbon Creek? Good God, man! We're recalling you back to Earth and beginning an investigation immediately!

Not only does Archer and Trip NOT report this, they seem to not even care. If neither B&B nor the characters take rewriting established Star Trek history seriously, why should I? It's almost time to shut the show off as so many other Trek viewers have done. Where's my remote?


T'Pol and Mestral Before we leave we should load up on that Earth medicine Vetameatavegamin that Lucy had. It sounds rare.

Yeah, okay. They cremated the body of the dead Captain. Fine. But the ship? I didn't see the Vulcan rescue team picking up the pieces.

All that time of Archer and Trip whining because the Vulcans refused to give up their technology, and there's the wreckage of a Vulcan ship in the town of Bugtussle or something, and they don't even bother to contact Starfleet or Admiral Forest about it.

Even the Vulcans whined about contaminating the culture with their dead bodies, yet they leave their ship behind. At least on "Galactica 1980", when the Cylons crashed outside New York, Troy and Dillon destroyed the ship.

And how do you have a fire so great to cremate the dead Vulcan Captain and not be seen by the locals? Surely to risk that with such a fire would be... illogical.


T'Pol And that was the last we saw of him. Now he wanders the universe in search of Voyager's Borg Baby.

This ending with the Vulcan staying behind has so much potential. Too bad it was downplayed and will be forever forgotten by Beavis and Butthead.

There were so many things that could have attracted the Vulcans to Earth at a later time, like the moon landing, the nuclear bombs, or that dead chimp drifting through our solar system, that it would have been justifiable to have the Vulcans land later, in order to have that mysterious lost Vulcan still be alive on Earth today as an old man, that even the Vulcans don't know where he is. This could have brought him into Archer's time period.

Further more, he may have very well been alive when the Vulcans landed and met Zephram Cochrane, that this would have further added to the potential stories, raising questions like, why did he remain hidden? Where is his body? Who knew of him?

So much potential for great stories. And it's all thrown away.



T'Pol and Mestral

And how do you have a fire so great to cremate the dead Vulcan Captain and not be seen by the locals? Surely to risk that with such a fire would be... illogical.

"The Vulcans *DID* have some kinda of phaser pistols, as demonstrated during the cave rescue, so I would assume that they used those to incinerate the captain.

Agreed on the ship, though - as it wouldn't have been rocket science to show the Vulcan rescue ship tractor-beam it and the pieces away, or whatever.

Same with the Velcro thing - albeit one could argue the writers were making fun of the crackpot notion that velcro was derived from technology from Roswell - of course, that would require actually having SOME sort of innovation and talent. This *IS* possible in the case of Chris Black, who *might* have a brain (remember, it was a watchable episode -- once you get used to B&B's constant decronstruction of established concepts - like Vulcans that don't necessarily act very Vulcan).

In case you do not know, the reason why B&B 'wrote' every single 'story' simply has to do with them having figured out that the more credit they have per episode, the more money they make when every single episode is broadcast. It's, unfortunately, all a money trough - and that's all they are in this for.

Keep up the good work on your site - you 'reviews' are far more entertaining than the episodes, at this point. So far, I read your reviews to see if the episodes are worth watching (and, what's up with you missing the topless Hoshi sequence in your review of Shlockwave, partII?)"

- H.
September 30, 2002


Hoshi was topless in "Shockwave, Part 2"? You think they would have advertised that.

- Richard Whettestone.


I got more e-mails about topless Hoshi and Velcro than any other thing.
T'Pol and Mestral"Hi,

I am SICK to the back teeth of arrogant Americans thinking they control, change, and make the world a better place. They think it revolves around them, and screw anyone else that gets in the way. With this in mind, I draw attention to your review of Carbon Creek:

Uhm, excuse me. But a real man invented Velcro. He really existed, and may still be alive.

Berman and Braga not only rewrote established Trek history, but they also just rewrote historical facts in American history. Damn it they've got to be fired!!!

As you will see from this link:
(The Link lead to a history of Velcro)
Velcro was invented by a Swiss inventor, and I think you should change the review to point out this fact before you dilute the brains of other impressionable people in making them believe that Americans are the one and only group of people on this planet. And next time, do your research before assuming things.
"

- Thanks,
Mark (A Englishman pissed off with arrogant American attitudes)
September 30, 2002



T'Pol and Mestral "Here is some info on carbon creek that I think you may be interested in.

Velcro was invented by a man named George de Mestral in the 1940's while hunting in the Jura mountains in Switzerland.

See link below:
(The Link lead to a history of Velcro)

Note that the Star Trek Vulcan character of Mestral was named after the inventor of velcro in tribute to him because of all the years TOS used velcro.

It looks like the writer of Carbon Creek really did his home work on this one. This is one of the reasons why this is a very good episode."

- Take care
Tom
September 30, 2002


I remembered the story behind how Velcro was discovered, but I had no idea who, when or where, which is why I couldn't state the details in the review and refered to it as American, which I have since changed.

But as others pointed out elsewhere, the fact that they KNEW Velcro was invented by a real Swiss man named Mestral, and then named a character after him to rub it in while they still rewrote history is unforgivable. Velcro is a legal Registered Trademark of a real business. T'Pol inventing or discovering Velcro is like T'Pol inventing the Ford F-150 pick-up truck.

- Richard Whettestone.


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