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Enterprise review: "Two Days and Two Nights".
Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
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Remind me to promote Travis for rigging the straws we drew.
The crew drew straws to see who gets to go to Risa, and virtually all of them who got to go happen to be main characters?
Whatever.
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That's not all we think about. Sometimes we think about our falling ratings. After Tucker and Reed make a bad joke about getting laid, Hoshi asks if that's all they think about. Since when did Tucker and Reed start openly discussing their sexual adventures in front of Hoshi? It was only a few episodes back in "Shuttlepod One" that they started discussing their sex lives with eachother.
To make matters worst, saying this stuff in front of a Shuttlepod full of crew, including a pilot, the Captain, and the token black man seems too awkward.
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Quality time? We just want to get laid!
It was already established in "Unexpected" that no human/alien breeding has taken place. Yet here we have both Tucker and Reed not only wanting to hump some aliens, they blatantly discuss it in front of the Captain AND the crew. Then Hoshi actually does have interspecies sex without a second thought (by the character or the writers).
I think their adventures may have been more enjoyable if Tucker and Reed were doing this sneakily behind the Captain's back.
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Let's go hit on some horny Vulcan women! I'm sure they'll put out.
And yet once again the super-secret Pon Farr is brought up in public by main characters as B&B continue their raping of the original series they're ignoring as well as all canon and continuity of the franchise they're intent on destroying.
Hello? Nobody is suppose to know about it. Hello? Even on Voyager the Doctor had virtually nothing in their database about it. Quit bringing it up in every episode. Hello? To make matters more worst, Tucker refers to mating every seven years as "what the Vulcans say they do". The Vulcans are not supposed to be saying anything!!!
I said it before in my review of "Fallen Hero" and I'll say it again. The Producers are trying to open the door for T'Pol to experience the first female Pon Farr.
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I put the 'F' in 'UFO'.
One of the demands the TNT network made on the Babylon 5 spin-off series "Crusade" was that they add a "Sexplorer" character, a sexual explorer who's job it was to have sex with every different alien race she came across. When the TNT memo was leaked on the internet, the fans complained, and J. Michael Straczynski refused to add such a character as well. At first TNT lied and said the memo wasn't true, then gave in and admitted it was true but that they rescinded it. But because JMS fought against these stupid ideas, TNT retaliated by cutting the order of episodes back from 22 to 13, then later canceling Crusade before it even premiered. The antics of Tucker and Reed in this episode of Enterprise gives us a glimpse of what that "sexplorer" character would have been like. Thankfully Crusade didn't proceed with it.
Meanwhile, what's the point of trying to randomly roam the galaxy trying to encounter new alien lifeforms, when they could just stop at Risa or that Trading Center from "Broken Bow" and started cataloging new life right there.
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Of course I'm a man. Now that I've just been laid, I'm going to bed.
We just found out in "Dear Doctor" that Phlox's race of Denobulans were experiencing a mating cycle. Now we learn he's going through a hybernation cycle. With the target audience of 12 year-old boys, is this the message we want Enterprise to send to young men?
Oh, that's right. The Producers claim we don't care about continuity.
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