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Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.









Enterprise review: "Detained".
(Episode 21)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Enterprise

THE PREMISE: Archer and Mayweather wake up to find themselves in a Suliban prison. After learning these Suliban are okay guys, Archer mounts an escape attempt, pissing off Dean Stockwell in the process.

"Detained"
Teleplay by Mike Sussman and Phyllis Strong
Story by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
(the usual suspects)


Quantum Leap ... which appears in the form of quality writing, which only Dr. Beckett can see and hear.

The Enterprise detects signals behind a moon that they thought belong to a Suliban Helix, yet only send out a single Shuttlepod?

They believed it was a Suliban Helix and the only people they send is Archer and Mayweather? Shouldn't Reed have been there? Who's making these incredibly stupid decisions?

Why would a race who has a prison camp for holding anti-Cabal Suliban have signals that are detected as a Suliban Helix?


T'Pol Mr. Tucker, please quit talking about mounting a rescue mission. You're causing mental turmoil in the nameless crewman at the helm.

Because of lame-ass Screen Actors Guild rules, plus the addition of weeny Producers and Writers, with the absense of Mayweather at the helm this episode filled in that position with yet another nameless character who didn't react, didn't look at the main characters, didn't speak up like the main characters, didn't acknowledge anything was wrong when the main characters did, and just stared blank-faced at the console.

Us fans were sick of that back in TNG's first season. After these mindless nameless automatons who just nod their heads at main characters were smothered all over us through seven years of TNG, seven years of DS9 and seven years of Voyager, it's not a good sign when we still see them way too often on Enterprise.


T'Pol I'm a Vulcan. Don't get logical with me.

After suggesting she sends a Vulcan arbitrator to help Archer and Mayweather's case, Tucker says that they would be better getting the electric chair than the help of a Vulcan lawyer.

What?! Surely a Vulcan lawyer would be a bitch to take on in a legal fight. Instead of a Vulcan lawyer messing up like Tucker seems to imply he would, Tucker should have been jumping all over that idea of obtaining a Vulcan lawyer, even with humanity's hatred of the Vulcans. Cold hard facts being shot out machine-gun style at an unprepared emotional alien prosecution by a blank-faced Vulcan would have driven any prosecution looney until they backed down.

More great potential thrown away by B&B.


Admiral Forest What the hell do you mean you lost the Captain?! Have you looked in Decon?

The capturing and detaining of Captain Archer was so terrible, Commander Tucker and Sub-Commander T'Pol completely forgot to inform Starfleet of the situation.

Even after T'Pol suggested bringing in Vulcan lawyers.


Colonel Gratt
I also know about that incident with the sheep, Elmer's glue, and the Admiral's toothbrush.

Where does this guy get his information? He knew about the Klingon, Broken Bow, the space Trading Center, the Temporal Cold War, etc, etc. He even knew about Sarin, and Archer was only with her for a few minutes. It's not practical to believe they had spies watching the Enterprise crew when they couldn't even watch the Suliban in those places.

Why didn't they know about all the Vulcan starships that had been following Enterprise for half a season like Archer claimed in various episodes. A fleet of Vulcan ships tagging the Enterprise is enough to create plenty of suspicion on them.

We want continuity. But we want continuity that makes sense.


Archer I'll make a deal with you. You let me take the Suliban off your hands, and I'll tell you everything I know about the Cabal.

No I won't. Because that would allow both of us to gain information that helps both our causes, as well as making friends in the Suliban that we can use as spies within the Cabal. Instead, I'll just be stupid. Again. I won't even bring up the option.


Hoshi Sato Yeah, ignore the Japanese girl.

Archer mentions to T'Pol over communicator about a specific Japanese Internment camp. Instead of spending five minutes proving he's an historian as well, he should have just told T'Pol to ask Hoshi about it. This would have given Hoshi an opportunity to do a scene that hit home for her - something that affected her ancestry. She was after all more likely to know about it than Archer would. It also would have shown that Archer knows what knowledge his crew knows and would have made him look better and more in charge, as well as cutting the transmission short to prevent detection.

Oh well. At least she was there to open hailing frequencies.


Trip Tucker Sorry sir. The transporters are offline because the writer's said they were.

Alright, so the transporters worked fine. So why didn't they use them to help in Archer's escape? When Archer wanted to help the Suliban get to the ships, they were forgotten. What about beaming to safety the child of the concerned lead Suliban? Or beaming down more weapons? Or beaming down Enterprise security officers (they were already involved in this prison break so why not)? Beaming the Suliban to the ships? Beaming someone to the other side of the door? Beaming Tucker to the ships to get them online? Or even beaming down some stun grenades as suggested in "Terra Nova".

If the writers wanted to do a straight escape, they shouldn't have brought a starship into it. Once they did, they should have used it. Branon Braga has talked about writing a great escape episode. He must have meant some other show, because this wasn't it.


Quantum Leap Gushi! Center me on Sam, now!

Come on! Colonel Gratt is trying to fight people who are changing history, and here he is with his Quantum Leap co-star. This was screaming out for a scene where he attacks Archer verbally about the evils of such actions of changing time. It would have been great, and would have worked on so many levels because of its double meanings inside and outside the show.

The Writers waste scene after scene naming characters after their Colleges, forcing the number 47 in every episode, trying to put in in-jokes that only the Writing Staff understand, or banging Jeri Ryan, so how the hell did the Writers miss this desired and obvious line of dialogue?


Brannon Braga This is our best episode to date! I deserve another raise.

The Tandarans can detect the dinky Shuttlepod flying around a moon and capture Archer and Mayweather before they even know what happened, but the Enterprise can enter orbit of the planet, locate Archer, beam down a communicator, and stay there for a short time further before even being detected by the Tandarans?

Whatever.


Dominic Keating Shhh! I'm in disguise as a super-hunk. Don't blow my cover.

The Major knows the prison and prisoners inside and out, yet when Reed just beams on down in Suliban disguise, this new arrival out of nowhere gets completely overlooked by the Major.

I guess the writers didn't think they could find a way out of that situation, so they just ignored it plot-wise.


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