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96- Demons
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98- Trip Dies in Riker's Holodeck!

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Classify this under "What If?"

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Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.









Enterprise review: "Fusion".
(Episode 17)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Enterprise

THE PREMISE: T'Pol has a dream that she gets laid.

"Fusion"
Teleplay by Phyllis Strong and Mike Sussman
Story by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
(the usual suspects)


T'Pol I'm a Vulcan. Don't get logical with me.

A ship full of emotional Vulcans, and their desire to learn about emotions more, and some of them never seen a human in person? These guys have been roming around for nearly a decade. Wouldn't they have sought out a human ship or colony by now?


Archer I don't care about the Vulcans and they can all Die!

Because the Vulcans allowed T'Pol to stay, Admiral Forrest reminded Archer that he should do a good deed as a Thank You and tell the Vulcan Engineer that his father was dying. The way it was done implied that Archer otherwise wouldn't have done anything.

And once again showing Archer is just another psycho maniac on the virge of going on a Janeway-inspired killing spree.


Admiral Forrest
Wow! Your transmission is so clear, it's almost as if you're just on the next set over!

I remember in the future when Kirk could never talk "live" with Starfleet. I guess technology never caught up with him.


Trip and fat Vulcan I'm so emotional, I'm fat.

The first "fat" Vulcan we ever see, and he's emotionally distraught. That can't be good.

No wonder his dad told him he brought shame to 15 generations of his family.


Tucker Because you're an emotional Vulcan Engineer with more advanced technology, and my new best friend, I'm not even going to ask you for free tech that other Vulcans have declared classified.

Whatever.


Spock gets married
Then we mate every seven years, and we have to return home also, oh yeah we can also Mind Meld, and we also have a second eyelid. And let me tell you about our...

I remember when the Pon Farr was so secretive, so hush-hush, so hidden, that even James Kirk only heard about it when his best friend Spock risked court-martial by comandeering the Enterprise. But thanks to B&B, now Trip, Reed and the rest of the gang are all fully aware of it 150 years earlier.


Reed Every seven years!?! I myself haven't been laid in three. But then I'm ambiguously gay. Maybe.

The idea of the Pon Farr is suppose to be more shocking and outrageous to these characters than in any other time period of the other Treks. Yet Trip and Reed sure did take it somewhat casually. Too casually. They could have done an entire episode about Trip and Reed's obsession with investigating if this was true or not. That would have fulfilled the sex and comedy quotas. This episode had too much of one and not enough of the other.


T'Pol Mind Meld? I'm stupid. What's that?

An ancient technique abandoned centuries ago? And T'Pol just discovers it? Berman and Braga won't stop until these characters have discovered or invented virtually everything that we know and understand about the original series. What's next? T'Pol is Spock's grandmother? Trip invents energy shields? Reed invents Phasers? Archer personally creates the Federation by himself in the two-hour series finale?


T'Pol in a Mind Meld My mind to your mind. Your inability to act to my inability to act.

I need not say anymore.


T'Pol in bed with a man If I don't meditate every night, I revert to an Atavus.

T'Pol goes just ONE night without meditation, and she has a wet dream and needs a medical examination by Dr. Phlox?


Vulcan I'm a Vulcan. Don't get horny with me.

Vulcans have an urge to return home and mate every seven years. Yet this ship has been out there for eight years. Even with Chunky revealing that they're trying to speed that up, EVERY Vulcan on this ship had to have gone through the Pon Farr at least once, and some of them twice. Yet not only did they never return home, but they still had some single male Vulcans onboard without mates. Huh?

If the Pon Farr makes a logical Vulcan go whacky, imagine what it does to emotional ones. We'll never know because the stupid writers ignored the potential in order to pump up the sex quotent.


T'Pol It's illogical to expect anything from this show.

In TNG's "Violations", the topic of telepathic mind-rape comes up. In the Voyager episode "Retrospect", Seven falsely believed someone assaulted her, in a writer's attempt to do a story about rape and repressed or altered memories. This time, T'Pol gets "mind-assaulted" and yet there is still no direct rape. At the risk of upsetting some women out there, either rape T'Pol and deal with it or move on. We're tired of these "mind-rape" episodes. You can't get much better than "Violations", and you promised us you were going to push the show dramaticly, which you're NOT.

And let's not forget that after the Vulcan assaulted T'Pol, NOBODY bothers to report it to the Vulcans. THIS is why Berman and Braga need to be fired. This, in combination with the catsuits, Braga humping Jeri Ryan, and Braga's recent claim that this was "'9 & 1/2 Weeks' in space", clearly shows the mindset of Braga towards women and his lack of talent in holding an audience without sex.


Sometimes I even dream when I sleep.

Archer says he dreams "sometimes in color". What the hell is that suppose to mean? I remember a TNG episode where Picard says he rarely remembers his dreams. Why are all the Captains under Berman's jurisdiction incapable of dreaming? And the number of people who dream in black and white have got to be extremely low.

Archer


Braga and Berman
"We're pushing the limits of drama." "Really pushing it." "Yeah." "I need another raise."

So many times B&B have insisted they were pushing the show beyond expectations (yadda, yadda, yadda). Yet once again we're surrounded with so many chances to push it that were just plain dropped:

T'Pol's sexuality and her first sexual experience (being a virgin).

Archer setting up a trick to confirm the Vulcan assaulted her, yet not taking it one step further?

Having the Vulcan attempt a forced mind meld on Archer while he was assaulting him (he was RIGHT THERE!).

T'Pol has a regular mind meld, then mistakenly believing the mind meld was an assault, only to have the Vulcans demonstrate one to her and Archer, providing a big slap in the face to T'Pol that she was wrong.

As if the Vulcans didn't like Archer enough, have the Vulcans demand Archer stay away from these people and cause another confrontation over it.

Since Chunky said they were trying to speed up the Pon Farr, imagine a ship full of horny emotional Vulcans who needed women quite often.

Since T'Pol said the Vulcans exploring emotions were dangerous, why didn't T'Pol's boyfriend go through the Pon Farr and snap? If Vulcans virtually go insane during the Pon Farr the way they are, imagine how dangerous they would have been with a truckload of emotions behind them.

Chunky's emotions over his dying father coming up for the first time had clear opportunities to drive him over the edge. And what's worst than an emotionally unstable Vulcan making his stand in Engineering?

There was so many opportunities to push it. And now they're all lost.


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