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Episode Reviews
1-2- Broken Bow
3- Fight or Flight
4- Strange New World
5- Unexpected
6- Terra Nova
7- The Andorian Incident
8- Breaking the Ice
9- Civilization
10- Fortunate Son
11- Cold Front
12- Silent Enemy
13- Dear Doctor
14- Sleeping Dogs
15- Shadows of P'Jem
16- Shuttlepod One
17- Fusion
18- Rogue Planet
19- Acquisition
20- Oasis
21- Detained
22- Vox Sola
23- Fallen Hero
24- Desert Crossing
25- 2 Days & 2 Nights
26- Shockwave 1
27- Shockwave 2
28- Carbon Creek
29- Mine Field
30- Dead Stop
31- A Night in Sickbay
32- Marauders
33- The Seventh
34- The Communicator
35- Singularity
36- Vanishing Point
37- Precious Cargo
38- The Catwalk
39- Dawn
40- Stigma
41- Cease Fire
42- Future Tense
43- Canamar
44- The Crossing
45- Judgment
46- Horizon
47- The Breach
48- Cogenitor
49- Regeneration
50- First Flight
51- Bounty
52- The Expanse
53- The Xindi
54- Anomaly
55- Extinction
56- Rajiin
57- Impulse
58- Exile
59- The Shipment
60- Twilight
61- North Star
62- Similitude
63- Carpenter Street
64- Chosen Realm
65- Proving Ground
66- Stratagem
67- Harbinger
68- Doctors Orders
69- Hatchery
70 - Azati Prime
71 - Damage
72- The Forgotten
73 - E2
74 - The Council
75- Countdown
76- Zero Hour
77- Storm Front 1
78- Storm Front 2
79- Home
80- Borderland
81- C-12
82- The Augments
83- The Forge
84- Awakening
85- Kir'Shara
86- Daedalus
87- Observer Effect
88- Babel One
89- United
90- The Aeanar
91- Affliction
92- Divergence
93- Bound
94- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 1
95- In a Mirror Darkly Pt 2
96- Demons
97- Terra Prime
98- Trip Dies in Riker's Holodeck!

Enterprise Characters
Breakdown of who's who.

Enterprise Actors
Breakdown of who's ugly.

Star Trek History
Quick summary of what came before.

Detachable Saucer
Classify this under "What If?"

What other people think.

Voyager "Endgame" Review
Their last episode. Our first review.

Enterprise review: "Shuttlepod One".
(Episode 16)

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.

THE PREMISE: Reed and Tucker have a lapse of common sense in their judgement and believe the Enterprise has been completely destroyed after mistaking a shuttle door for the debris of an NX starship. Then they get drunk.

"Shuttlepod One"
Written by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
(the usual suspects)

No, no. Build Up the suspense.

The entire episode is about Tucker and Reed believing the Enterprise was destroyed and they have to spend the entire episode dealing with it emotionally. So what do you do? You show the good ship Enterprise just fine and dandy in the very first shot of Act One. You even fully explain what the debris was, how the door was destroyed, who's onboard, who's taking Tucker's place and where the Enterprise is now.

It's not like we ever believed the Enterprise would be destroyed anyway. But the only tool you had left to carry the story were questions that were being raised. But the idiotic writers of this episode managed to eliminate that too by answering all those questions while the opening credits were still rolling.

Isn't this a basic rule they teach in screenplay school out there in Hollywood or something?

I hand picked my crew and I picked the best. If only I could remember who I picked.

With Tucker off the ship, Archer asks T'Pol what Engineer is in charge while Tucker is away. My God you don't know!?!?!

Besides the fact that this should have been common sense (for way too many reasons), with a ship exploded right under Enterprise, basic repairs and/or evaluation of the damage should have already been underway by this secondary Chief of Engineering by now.

Yeah, I want to serve on that starship. Get back to me when you have a clue. Archer or the Producers.

Captain Archer

Shuttlebay Door
All I see is the shuttlebay door. Er, I mean, yeah the ship's completely destroyed, Malcolm! What do we do?! We might die!

Tucker helped build the Enterprise. How many times has he and Archer flew around the thing in "Broken Bow" just drooling over it. The word "Enterprise" in big letters can't possibly be painted everywhere on that ship. He should have recognized where it was from.

Also, they see it every time they enter or leave the ship. Reed should have even recognized it.

I promise to only use this power for good.

As if it wasn't stupid enough last week in "Shadows of P'Jem" when Reed oversteps his own expertise and moves in on Tucker's knowledge by identifying Archer's Shuttlepod based on Enterprise scans, in this episode Reed does it again by single-handedly figuring out how far Echoe One is and how far the Shuttlepod can go, while the very Engineer who helped build the thing is standing right there and he doesn't have a clue.

Clearly Lt. Reed has the ability to suck knowledge out of the experts and use it as his own, at the same time making the experts dumb as a rock.

Reed I'm just fine when I have my medication.

You're just one day into being lost in space, and Reed already has emotionally broken so much to the point that he is having dillusions and hallucinations about a horny T'Pol.

And we keep this guy in charge of the armory?

Reed I was ambiguously gay. I'm better now. Maybe.

Well, another hint that Reed is NOT gay came today when he hallucinates a horny T'Pol slobbering all over him.

This was followed by a plethora of girlfriends suddenly coming out of the woodwork in his letters home. Deborah. Rochelle. Caitlyn. And at least three others.

And it's kinda odd that the episode opens with Reed bashing Americans, only to reveal he dated "half the women in San Francisco".

T'Pol kissing Reed Next Time on an all-new Enterprise, we give away the ending with this very preview!

And how did we know Reed was hallucinating one full week before the scene even aired? Because it was in the preview.

Unless you actually expected T'Pol was smiling in the preview because she was on anti-Vulcan drugs or something as part of the story?

You had sex with my waitress? I thought you were gay.

Wait, did you have sex with her before or after I did? Because I have two concerns. The first, you might be gay and I don't want what you might have. And the second, did she make you gay? Maybe I'm becoming gay on a delayed reaction or something. I have been feeling kinda patsy lately.

Dave Lister Cat
Screw Starfleet! I want to be a Dwarfer!

Reed and Tucker drunk and lost reminded me of some "Red Dwarf" episodes. I can't help but think how Lister and Kat would have changed course for the Vulcan homeworld thinking that a hundred years from now their corpses could scare some Vulcans who find them.

This would be followed by scenes of Lister and Kat trying to figure out the best "death pose" to die in to elicit some emotions out of the Vulcans when they open the Shuttlepod door. God I miss that show.

Tucker and Reed were drunk. It would have worked.

Reed And did you know that if you drink Coke and eat Poprocks, you explode?

Tucker tells Reed that when you die, your hair and nails keep growing for "quite awhile". Bullsh*t! To make matters worst, Tucker says he learned it in his biology class.

Common Sense people! If this was true, every mortician would be carrying razers. Berman and Braga don't even know the real world to write about it, let alone being allowed to Produce a fantasy world. Get them the F*ck off this show!

Tucker And if we both go out the airlock, we can quadriple the oxygen left in the Shuttle!

You're hopelessly lost with no way to get home, and you've got 10 days to think about your situation. Are you going to wait until you're just a few hours away from death to just THEN come up with the idea that one less crewmember doubles the time you've got left?

It's also kinda too late that Tucker just NOW came up with the idea to lower the temperature to buy more time. Where were you the first day?

I hear you read my death bed confession.

Two guys thinking they were going to die, one of which records everything in a Log report, and Archer doesn't even bother to read it? At the least it would have been read by the Engineers repairing and cleaning up the Shuttle. And don't tell me they're not going to find all those beer bottles.

Tucker In the future, we don't go to the bathroom.

We recycle it into boots and stuff.

And boy does my butt still hurt from sitting on the replicator.

For three days.

In front of Malcolm.

But at least we have some new forks.

Braga and Berman
"It's everyone's favorite show." "Dean Valentine says we're the best Producers he ever met." "Gene would have been proud."

Besides blowing it with that "your hair grows after you're dead" crap (what are they in, fourth grade?), not once did anybody ever have to go to the bathroom (especially after downing liquor), and it was never addressed why the replicators couldn't replicate "air".

I'm done with this review. I'm going to bed.

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