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Star Trek: Voyager
[Dead] End Game.

Reviewed by Richard Whettestone.
Voyager

Continued from Page Two.


Seven & Janeway Chakotay
I didn't rescue you from the collective so you can take a man.

And when Junior Janeway finds out from Old Janeway that Seven and Chakotay ran off and got married, something seemed missing. Junior Janeway just lost two lovers but didn't seem to express it correctly.

Plus, the turning point for Old Janeway was the death of Chakotay, while the turning point for Junior Janeway was the impending death of Seven. Another writing failure with such an obvious contradiction? Or a change for the character and acceptance of her loss?

And let's not forget that Seven is a virgin.


Chakotay and Seven You didn't know her like I did.

Sure, I witnessed my family and friends slaughtered at the hands of the Cardassians, and even my own Maquis army were slaughtered by aliens I never heard of. But nothing can make me more depressed for the rest of my life like the loss of Seven. Even those 22 poor saps who bit the dust over the following 16 years didn't phase me. We even held yearly anniversaries for the survivors.

Plus, did you know Seven was a virgin?


Klingons This is how we keep the Klingons in line.

The Federation has shields so powerful to defend themselves against the Borg, yet Klingons don't have them while the Federation keeps ships constructed with them lying around in a shipyard for Academy Professors like Barclay to steal for friends.


Voyager people F*ck'em. Let them work out their own problems.

With all the people Voyager had helped in the first seven years, imagine all the lives the Voyager would save and all the cultures she would help over the next sixteen. Janeway was willing to let them all die to save just 22 people?


Starship gets hit Let them work out their own problems, too.

Sure, over the next 16 years we're going to develop incredible advanced technology to keep the Borg in their place, but why should I be savior of the Federation? I'm sure they can survive without the work I will do.

Probably.

But hey, if they don't survive because I bring my ship home 16 years early and wipe from existance the Federation's technological advances, that's not my fault.


Admiral Janeway
Well it worked on our ships.

Why did Old Janeway do such a half-assed job of planning her rescue of Voyager? She was able to obtain the time device, steal a super-ship, and plot the exact time and place to travel to, but once there we learn that half the stuff she brought couldn't work on Voyager anyway.

Seven says quite clearly "The stealth technology is incompatible. But I believe we can adapt the armor and weapons." If you had the stealth technology, you wouldn't need the armor and weapons. And sure, the stealth technology worked later to conceal herself from the Borg during her confrontation with the Queen, but you have to remember that she wasn't expecting a confrontation with the Queen. She didn't even use the stealth earlier when trying to escape from either the Klingons or Captain Kim in the USS Lollipop. The stealth was only used as a last-minute side-effect of her Junior demanding that they destroy the transwarp hub. Which means Admiral Janeway purposely brought technology from the future that she wasn't planning to use and Voyager couldn't use at all.


Kes Now why bring her up at a time like this?

And because "Fury" still stands, both fans and Kes are still screwed.


Janeway in the Holodeck

Janeway in the Holodeck

I saw the movie. The Butler did it.

Remember Janeway's mysterious holodeck novel she was building up a complex mystery to?

You didn't want to know how that ended did you?


Caretaker

Voyager

The Butler did that, too.

THE EPISODE: "The Voyager Conspiracy"

THE MYSTERY: Who was the cloaked ship that used a tractor beam to push the Caretaker's reactor through sub-space just before the Caretaker exploded?

THE CONCLUSION: ??????


That's okay. I'm sure Dallas never got around to revealing who shot J.R. either.


Female Caretaker The Butler put a cap in Suspiria's ass as well.

Wasn't the female Caretaker intent on snuffing Janeway and her crew for killing her mate?

This, combined with the above Caretaker mystery still remaining from "The Voyager Conspiracy", could have brought the series full circle back to the Caretaker origins. Uh, oh! I'm seeing an opportunity for Kes to return so the writer's could repair their "Fury" character damage! Naughty me for coming up with yet another viable idea when I'm not on the writing staff. Spank me.


Seven & her mom Her name is Annika. I breast-fed her myself.

My how they grow up so fast. I remember when she had Borg Shield Generator Coils coming out of her thighs. It seemed like just yesterday. Why, just three years ago she attempted to betray us to the Borg collective. And handing over the wounded member of Species 8472 to the Hirogen hunting party was an act of teen angst. Now she's all grown up and courting my Commander. Bringing flowers. Candle-lit dinners. Her first kiss. It's quite a Kodak moment.

Plus my little girl is still a virgin. She EARNED the priveledge to wear white at her wedding.


Doctor They call me Mr. Tibbs!

Seven years of waiting, and because Janeway changed the future, the Doctor still doesn't have a name.

Even Gilligan got off the island.


Doctor I never told Lt. Carey how I really felt about him.

My wife who doesn't speak thinks I named myself after her father. Wait until she finds out my last name.

Continued on Page Four.


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