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Sci Fi Central
Black Women in Science-Fiction.
Black Women are beautiful. So how come you don't see them in Science-Fiction?

Ways I'd improve the Sci-Fi Channel.
Believe me, it wouldn't be too hard.

Star Trek: Voyager "End Game" review.
Only the truth is funny.

Science-Fiction is Universal.
Babylon 5 airs in Russia? Yeap.

My Rogue Squadron Screen Shots.
Loaded with Graphics!

Roll Call!
The Death Toll runs high in the Science-Fiction Universe.

Never Forget!
Every Science-Fiction Series screwed over by Hollywood.

Ways I'd improve the Sci-Fi Channel.

By Richard Whettestone.
The Sci-Fi Channel sucks, you know?

Sci-Fi Channel Logo

Air the Episodes in their Proper Order.
(well, duh!)

Quit editing programs to sell more commercial time.
They claim that the older shows had a longer running time back then and they have to be edited to today's standard commercial running length. When confronted about this, the Sci-Fi Channel usually refers to "the 1960's" as a generic time these programs were made to try to bypass the topic. But USA Network (and therefore Sci-Fi Channel) have edited several minutes from Quantum Leap episodes taken off of NBC within months of its last Network broadcast. Some episodes even aired on Network, repeated on Cable, then repeated on Network again (including episodes of "ER"). Standard Network Running Time doesn't drop by three whole minutes within a few months. And in these cases, why were they edited for USA Network, then aired intact again on NBC Network a few months later? Clearly "standard commercial time" has NOTHING to do with much of this. It's pure greed.

BAN the shows "The New Outerlimits", "Poltergeist : the Legacy", "Stargate SG-1", "Tales from the Crypt" and "Total Recall 2070".
Cheap crappy cable shows that talk down to their viewers with sex scenes and nudity shouldn't be rewarded with multi-year contracts and nightly repeat airings. Sci-Fi Channel used to edit out every-day bad words out of Alien Nation and Space: Above & Beyond, but now they're airing crap. These shows have to be severily edited just to air on commercial television.

Here's a clue: If a television series has to film alternate versions of scenes to air on Commercial Television as a common practice, that's a clear sign that it's no good.

Quit Lying.
Did you ever notice how the Sci-Fi Channel is promoting The New OuterLimits as "The Most Award Winning Sci-Fi Anthology Series Ever".

USE YOUR BRAIN. And just how many Sci-Fi Anthology Series have there ever been? Let's see. We have The Twilight Zone (That's One), The original (and only good) OuterLimits (That's Two), The New Crappy Cable OuterLimits (That's Three), and uhm . . . uh . . . uh . . . well, I guess that's pretty much it. Just Three. Two of which are the same show.

And just what awards did the New Crappy Cable OuterLimits win? Was it Emmys? No! Surprise! It was Cable Ace Awards! And just how many Science-Fiction programs were available on Cable 5 years ago? Let's see. There was The new crappy cable OuterLimits (That's One), and . . . uhm . . . uh . . . well, I guess that's it.

Oh, and let's not forget that the Cable Ace Awards were so cheap and pathetic, they've since disbanded them and stopped giving them out entirely.

Bring back "The War Room".
"Sci Fi Vortex" was a great Science Fiction News show that had a segment called the "War Room" in which various Producers, Writers, Actors, etc. from various fields of Science Fiction and Television would get together and talk about the state of things today. This segment was in such demand by the fans that some Sci-Fi Vortex broadcasts would include nothing but one big long War Room segment. But because the people interviewed were usually bashing Hollywood's attempts at Science Fiction instead of praising it, the Sci-Fi Channel wussed out and canceled it.

Bring back "Sci-Fi Buzz".
Or a show similar to Sci Fi Buzz. How about a show like the old FX Network's BackChat Program (before FOX Executives went stupid and screwed it up also). When they canceled SciFiBuzz, they replaced it with some stupid new version which was so lame, I remember quite clearly not watching it. I can't even remember the name of it. You know the show. It was the one hosted by Chase Masterson (her fifteen minutes are way up, aren't they?) and some other nerd-looking guy. We want Hard News. We want Information. We want to know which shows are canceled, which actors are leaving, and what toys are being pulled for "contractual reasons". We don't want watered down news and eye candy.

We're still upset over the fact that their lame-ass replacement gave away the final scenes of Babylon 5 by showing clips of the station exploding. Yeah, we knew how it was going to end since the first season, but they didn't even show it as secret footage or something they snuck off with. Instead, they just tossed this shocking footage in with other background footage as part of a story on the show. Not only was it bad enough that these morons screwed the fans by showing the final footage out of context, but what's worst is they themselves didn't even know what they had. It wasn't stock shots you morons. It was scenes that the core audience of the show had been looking forward to for five years. In non-Science-Fiction terms, it's like revealing who shot J.R. in the stock shots while doing a story on the horses seen on Dallas. SciFiBuzz would have known what they had.

The Cage
Star Trek's "The Cage".
Air "The Cage" with the expanded Black & White footage.
The original Star Trek Pilot is available on video cassette in two versions. The regular one, and one with expanded black & white footage running maybe 7 minutes longer or so. And they thought they gave us the Special Editions?! So air it already!

Quit restructuring Star Trek.
Did you notice that when the Sci-Fi Channel airs Star Trek, it now jumps from one Act straight into the other (where's the suspense?), and there are now commercial breaks where before there were none.

What's so wrong with the original formatting of the show, that you now have to re-edit each episode to place commercials at different times than before? This has nothing to do with editing out footage to sell more commercials. Instead, they're re-editing it to air the commercials at different times into the program. Why? It can't be that important to have the commercial break 3 minutes earlier or later than it originally was. Every episode of every series has commercials at different times. There's no set rule that each Act has to run a certain length. So why are they doing this? It's beyond comprehension.

Doctor Who
Doctor Who - 1967.
Air the lost "Doctor Who" episodes as they become available.
If you don't already know this, many of the early black & white episodes of Doctor Who are lost. (Why? Because of British Network Executives!) Every so often, another episode of a multi-part story manages to show up somewhere. Even though the stories are still incomplete, that doesn't stop BBC from releasing them on Video (Troughton's "The Invasion" and the unfinished "Shada" for example). Even with missing chapters, they're still fun to watch. What Doctor Who fan wouldn't want to watch an episode that hasn't aired on TV in over 25 years? Especially if it was lost.

Quantum Leap
Qauntum Leap.
A week-long "Quantum Leap" marathon - in chronological order.
You start with the Civil War episode ("The Leap Between The States", 1862), then the episode where Sam & Al traded places ("The Leap Back", 1945), followed by the series finale ("Mirror Image", August 1953), then the pilot movie ("Genesis", September 1953). Work your way through the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's. Finish it up with "Piano Man" (1985) and the most up to date leap he ever made - "Revenge of the Evil Leaper" (1987).

Continued on Page Two.

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